Fighting Forgetting

Your face....

2011-03-10T21:10:00.000-08:00

Today you turn two.

If I close my eyes and think of you, this is the face I see.

A face of beauty, wonder, and a face full of laughter.

Your sweet face makes mine so happy.

Happy Birthday Darling... I love you.

Daddy's Girl

2011-02-22T10:28:00.000-08:00

Crusty.

Matted.

Swollen.

Pink.

Conjunctivitis is never a fun way to wake up~ just ask Eden.

Thankfully an easy fix. A trip to the doctor, a little antibiotic, good as news.

Except as we entered the office, Eden immediately starting screaming. I've never seen Eden terrified of the doctor. But she wouldn't let them have a look at her. She just kept making a mad dash for the door.

But all this screaming proved to be somewhat sweet, at least for Dan.

The entire time she just continued to wail,

"Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy."

She just reached out her little arms and wanted her daddy.

I love that she loves him and knows he will always be there to protect her.

I also love the fact we got a sucker on the way out.

Sugar makes everything better.

High

2011-02-11T19:59:00.000-08:00

The Wii is a huge hit at the house.

If you ask Eli, the Wii may be the greatest invention of the twenty first century and the

Star Wars Lego Wii game may be the greatest invention of all time.

Beaux enjoys the Wii too. Well.... her interpretation of the Wii.

Each and every time she asks to play, it is stated in this vernacular:

"Mom, can we do the weed?"

Not mom can we play the weed. Not mom can we use the weed.

No she says, "Mom, can we do the weed."

Do you think she ever goes to church and says,

"I want to thank God we got to do the weed today."

Knowing her, yes she does.

Ice, Ice.... Baby

2011-02-04T19:42:00.000-08:00

We've been iced in.

But we had to get out.

So we braved the elements, bundled up, and headed outside.

Wind chill......negative one.

No problem for my boys.

But, it was a little too frigid for my girls.

After layers of sweatshirts, socks, jackets, and, mittens-

Beaux lasted all of about 4 minutes.

As for Eden.....she really is her momma's daughter.

She was dressed and ready to the brave the elements until.... we opened the door.

She never took one step outside.

The second the cold air hit her face, she winced, whimpered,

and refused to budge.

By the looks of this.... you can see it was a great snow day.

That is for everyone except the lady who has to clean this mess up.

One flew over the cuckoo's nest.....

2011-01-30T12:48:00.000-08:00

Dear Eli, Beaux and Eden,

When you remember the last months of 2010,

please know your mother did not go crazy.

I was not temporarily snatched by the hands of insanity.

Your father did not lock me away in a room with padded walls.

I did not go crazy, but I did something very close....I moved.

December 15th 2010, I drove away from our

little red brick house with tears in my eyes.

I was leaving our first home. Each square foot of that house held beautiful memories.

But as I drove away, my sentimentally was not my only reason for tears. I was also crying because I had no place to go. Yes, we had moved out of our home, but had not yet purchased another. Over a thee week period lived...

One night in a hotel

Two nights with Lin and Wayne

Two nights with Georgia and Jason

One night at the Gaylord

One nights with Lin and Wayne

Two nights with Georgia and Jason

One night with Lin and Wayne

Five nights with Mom and Dad

One nights with Lin and Wayne

Six nights in extended day

And the cherry on top of this sundae... it was Christmas.

It is now January 30th 2011 and I am finally feeling as if sanity is in my grasp. I still have boxes to unpack and toothbrushes to find, but all in all, we are starting to feel settled. October, November, and December, are a little bit of a blur. But even in the midst of complete chaos- wonderful things happened. Birthdays, family trips, nights at home, fall leaves, Christmas cookies- things that must be remembered. Thankfully a picture is worth a thousand words. So I'm going to let these photos do the talking for the past few months.

PS~ I erased the picture of me being checked into the insane asylum...

Here we go.....

Daddy got you out of bed on this fall night to show you the giant web and spider.

(I stood far away- someone had to take the picture:)

Eli's super sixth Star Wars Party~ We do love a theme!

Princess Leia in her gold bikini, something only Georgia could get away with. Then we have master Yoda and Hans Solo. I'm glad Yoda stood in between Hans and Leia- awkward.

The Jedi Order.

We will turn you to the dark side.

Obi Won and Leia. Mom, your creativity never ceases to amaze me.

This is a really cute Aniken Skywalker~ and the Wookie is pretty cute too.

And a beautiful Leia and Shemi.

(Aniken's mother for those not cool enough to be apart of the Star Wars world.)

"This party wasn't too lame. I mean she did make me wear that Yoda costume,

but at least we got hot dogs, marshmallows, and cake."

The whole cast.

I love you Luke Skywalker.

The Whitesboro Peanut Festival. A weekend spent here helps me

understand why people love small towns.

I think the t-shirt says it all, "I went nuts at the Whitesboro Peanut Festival."

A beautiful night and a beautiful girl.

This is how a man rides the carousel.

I think she likes it.

But you be the judge.

What festival would be complete without face painting.

And the line we waited in ~ a 45 minute line.

Totally worth it.

It was a great day.

And then there was a little vacation.

The entire Goodman clan climbed aboard a carnival cruise to celebrate

my Grandparents 80th birthdays. What a way to celebrate.

Do you think the people lounging around the pool got a refreshing splash?

Who doesn't want to ride a huge waterslide while sailing on an enormous cruise ship.

The kids rode this water slide no less than 62 times- a piece.

I saw...

I had to.....

Conquer.

Did you get that mom?

Crazy Cousins.

We had such a great time with Chloe.

This girl knows how to have a good time.

A great man with his great, great grandson.

This one is very special.

And we can't forget baby Nora. Only a few months old,

and already a world traveler.

What I love about this photo is that it is in no way staged.

This is what happens to a four year old little girl after a little beach and sun.

She literally fell asleep in 24 seconds.

This was the trip of a lifetime. Even if our grandparents were lost in

Mexico for a brief time.

For future trips, Pa~ If the waitress on the ship says you may disembark. That doesn't mean you have to disembark. Next time wait for your family so we don't have to come rescue Granny in a foreign country.

And just in case in the future we are looking at these and the question comes up,

"Where's Eden?"

The answer is ~ Eden was at home with a very brave

aunt Georgia, Granny, and Daddy.

I broke my heart to leave her behind, but......

She would have cramped our style. Eli, Beaux, and I had some serious playing in the sand to do. We just wouldn't have looked as cool changing dirty diapers on the beach.

Float like a butterfly...

Sting like a bee.

Boxing matches....

Just a normal Tuesday night at the Barnes house.

My champion.

One slide, thousands of leaves, a really great day.

"Brother, you taught me everything I know."

"Playing outside can be hard work."

The end.

Christmas cookies......

The employees must watch their hands before returning

to work really doesn't apply around here.

Santa.... I'll save one for you.

Merry Christmas.

A little glimpse of Christmas morning. Thank you Georgia for visiting your in-laws a few days before Christmas. We really appreciate you letting us have your home and tree!

The dad's job at Christmas - reading directions....

And assembling gifts.

My Star Wars boy.

Sisters playing dollhouse together. I love it.

Georgia, it's not a Barbie Salon, but they do like it.

"I probably shouldn't be touching this... but I'm just so cute I can get

away with almost anything."

"Grandpa, are you sure you know how to put this thing together?

I could always help if you need a hand."

"I never doubted you for a minute."

Diane's Winter Wonderland.

This is a good lookin' family.

John got so excited watching the kids open all their gifts he just passed out.

All the anticipation took it right out of him.

Don't you love when your Nana gives you great, big, gigantic

presents to take back to your house?

It was a little cold, but what is Christmas without walking through the lights at Rhema?

My favorite part of this picture is Georgia's face. I don't know about you, but it doesn't really look like she's feeling the Christmas spirit. But then again, what kind of spirit is John feeling in this picture?

These 81 snapshots sum up the last three months of 2010.

I'm excited about the hundred of new snapshots that will fill 2010

But I don't want any snapshots of moving.

Momma said there'd be days like this.....

2010-11-04T14:18:00.001-07:00

Nothing scary about this.......

2010-10-31T14:24:00.000-07:00

Fellowship Church always knows how to throw a party, Halloween is no exception.

So it should come as no surprise to learn my children have anxiously been anticipating this year's Trunk or Treat. Somewhere along our wait, Beaux started referring to the Fall Festivities as, "The Halloween Church." Conversations would be about how many more days until, "The Halloween Church." Could they wear costumes to, "The Halloween Church." Would our friends be at, "The Halloween Church." Dan and I giggled each time we heard about the Halloween Church. It is a little funny to think about a church dedicated to Halloween. And I think the Lord might of giggled too when he heard Beaux's prayer yesterday afternoon.

"God, thank you for our food and thank you for our Halloween Church. Amen."

Amen sister, Amen.

WOOOOOOO PIGS SOOOOOOOOOIE!

2010-10-28T19:27:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the world wide web- my dad posted a few great pictures of the Arkansas game, of which I then stole. I'm in the midst of learning how to use our new apple computer, and the process is....... oh how's the best way to put it - I"M SLOW! October has been an exciting month and I have pictures to share~ Eli's birthday, the Peanut Festival, spider webs~ but they will have to wait until I learn how to turn this thing on.

For now, a few fun pictures of our day.

The game was great, the fans were hilarious,

and the best part of all, the company.

Go hogs go!

This is such a great picture. My parents stood in front of this fountain in 1977 at my dad's graduation. (My mother is looking very pregnant with an exceptionally amazing child.) 33 years later, my dad with three daughters.

You've done well dad- if I do say so myself.

What I'm made of.....

2010-10-05T17:39:00.000-07:00

~Happy Birthday Eli~

Eli, you made me a mother.

And from that day forward, you have made my life better.

You have made strong.

You have made me crazy.

You have made me thankful.

You have made me laugh.

You have made me trust.

You have made me exhausted.

You have made me humbled.

From the woman, you have made so happy~

Happy Birthday Darling, I love you.

Know-It-All

2010-09-23T10:54:00.001-07:00

Eli and I had an interesting conversation the other day. As we were walking

into the church, we were playing a guessing game.

After three of four failed attempts to guess correctly, I jokingly spouted off,

" Eli, I just don't think I'm as smart as you."

Which Eli replied in a very definitive voice, "That's because boys are smarter than girls."

I wanted to be a little appalled, but as I looked into his blue-green eyes, all I could do is laugh.

"Is that so," I asked. "And how exactly do you know that?"

With all certainty he responded, "Everyone knows that."

As I hugged his neck and sent him into the classroom, I walked away pondering how his little mind came to this conclusion. I'm not exactly sure where he is getting this notion, but it better not be from his daddy.

Under the sea......

2010-09-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

After a trip this summer to the aquarium, I have been contemplating getting the kids a small fish tank. Beaux was absolutely mesmerized. Dan and I both noted the marine life and blue water seemed to calm our savage beast. However, the thought of cleaning the tank and explaining the circle of life everytime we flush another friend down the toilet doesn't sound enjoyable,

BUT...................

If they ask this guy for those orange little guppies, it's a done deal. In case you can't see, they have him wrapped around their finger.

You are my sunshine....

2010-09-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine....

You make me happy, when skies are gray.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you....

Please don't take, my sunshine away.

Eyes wide open...

2010-09-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

Beaux is a woman of many words, but these took me by surprise.

While driving down the road I hear a little voice announce this:

"I saw God."

Like any good adult, I tired to rephrase her statement in order to tell her what she really meant .

"Beaux, did you see God in his beautiful world- the beautiful sky or the green trees he made. Is that what you mean when you say you saw God."

"No mom, I saw God. At first I thought it was Jesus. But it was God."

I'm not exactly sure what Beaux saw that evening, but I wish I had her vision.

Maybe I would see a little more God too.

You can't keep a good dog down......

2010-08-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

This toy is an oldie, but a goodie.

I think my sister and I owned the exact same

"Snoopy" snow cone maker and I'm quite sure we spent some time squeezing purple Kool-aid over shaved ice. Let me assure you, the shaved ice doesn't come easy. Dan's arm was cramping as he tried to crank out some snow for the cones. I'm not sure if this treat was good in the good ole' days, but the grape snow cone of 2010 wasn't to tasty.

But mixing my childhood memories with creating my children's memories was pretty sweet.

'Roid' Rage

2010-08-23T18:57:00.000-07:00

We've been sick. And by we, I mean Beaux.

Beaux's allergies have got the best of her yet again and she is miserable. After a trip to the pediatrician last week, the rest of us weren't too happy either. After listening to her "black lung," sounding cough, he decided we needed to bring out the strong stuff. The doctor decided it was time for an oral steroid. As he said the words oral steroid a shiver went up my spine. Because with an oral steroid comes the side effects of an oral steroid. As he wrote the prescription he cautioned me, "Now I think you should know, this medicine in combination with her other drugs could cause her to become very excitable and anxious. The other most commonly reported side effect is irritability and weepiness." And then he smiled a devious smile and said, "Have a wonderful day."

We brought her home....we filled the dropper with the orange liquid....we waited.....

And then we experienced what life might be like if Mike Tyson lived in our home. One minute she was fine, and the next she was screaming and ready to brawl. She would break down in tears for no reason at all. She was constantly irritated. She was mean as a snake. There were moments of reprieve, moments when the world was right and life was rosy. And the next moment she was tearing her shirt off like the Incredible Hulk.

(A tad bit of an exaggeration but not too far from the truth.)

She cried for 20 minutes one afternoon because, "Eli is so stinky. I can smell him. He is stinky in our house. He smells so stinky." Eli and I just looked at each other and laughed. When you're clean your clean, and when your sister is crazy your sister is crazy.

We were 'juiced' for 5 long days. We all came through them alive.

With very little improvement to show for our week, we headed to the allergist this morning. He gave me a list of treatments, medications, and instructions. But I couldn't hear a word he said. My brain stopped when I heard him utter the phrase, "Let's continue the oral steroid 5 more days." I almost cried right there in the office, but then we're going to have enough crying around here for the next few days. It's time to baton down the hatches and hide the boxing gloves.

Six o'clock

2010-08-04T13:42:00.000-07:00

~ Watching for Daddy ~

Beating a Sweaty Horse......

2010-08-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

I've already complained about the heat.

I blame everything on the heat.

From the paper cut on my finger to the reason I didn't make my bed- I some how justify it using the heat as my reason. The heat has just left me feeling a little lazy lately. The kids and I have been watching Disney Classics in the afternoon, reading tons of books while eating popsicles, and playing Barbies by the fan. But when I muster a little energy, I have been baking. I love to bake. After dinner I love to be in the kitchen stirring and sifting while I watch Dan and the kids wrestle on the floor. Baking is rewarding. When you bake, you usually start with the same basic ingredients - flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, eggs. But depending on the amount, how they are combined, and few extra additions to the staples, you can create something delicious. I've tried a little experimental baking lately, but with experimentation, comes failure. I just couldn't make muffins that tasted like cake doughnuts -I tired, I failed. But when I get it right, well, let's just say my jeans get a little tighter and my face a little happier. But I'm not going to worry about a few extra pounds, the second I step outside, I'll sweat it off anyway.

See I can blame the heat for a positive every once in a while.

My Grandmother's Zucchini Bread recipe, special for so many reasons.

Sweet potential.

2010-07-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

The heat index will reach 108 degrees today.

If I think about stepping outside, I instantly begin to sweat.

It is sweltering.

I am unhappy.

So as I way to cheer myself up ~ I saved a few pictures from January to remind myself of cooler days. I honestly edited these pics and went to post them in February, but sensed I should save them for a rainy day, or in my case, a scorching day.

See how happy I look - there is no perspiration on my brow. I guess I just need to stop feeling gloomy and remember the sun will come out tomorrow.... Oh wait, and then it will come out the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day..............

Fangs in Me

2010-07-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

I am now apart of the Twlight saga.

I have not read any of the books. I had not seen the first two movies. But I haven't been to the theatre in months and I really wanted some popcorn with artificial butter- so I tagged along to see, Eclipse. Georgia and Jason have seen the first two movies and Jessica and John have not only seen the movies but read the books. Yes, you read that correctly, my burly, constructional engineer, athletic, brother-in-law John has read the Twlight trilogy. After a through synopsis, I settled into my seat not knowing exactly what to expect.

I don't know what to say....... I liked it.

I mean, it was a little captivating. I fell under the team Edward - team Jacob spell. She loves Jacob- and Jacob loves her... but does she really want to become a vampire? She could love the shirtless wolf and remain human... but her heart is drawn to Edward.

(Does this sound as ridiculous as it reads?)

Twlight may not become a literary classic. Stephaine Myers might not be associated with Shakespeare, Tolkien, or Austen..... but she writes a really good story about loving a vampire. I will see the next movie. I have to know if Bella grows her fangs....

and plus it's another

chance for popcorn with artificial butter.

How Much is that Doggie in the Window?

2010-07-02T20:23:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Darling. In honor of your love of dogs-
we celebrated puppy style.

Our party was made complete with dog ears, dog noses, and dog bowls. (Daddy wasn't to sure about the no utensils rule, but after watching you tackle cake and ice cream without a spoon, he just couldn't resist.)

And this was the best dog food I've ever had.
You I slaved away in the kitchen to bake and ice this beautiful, be it lopsided, cake. It tasted better than the prettiest cake at the bakery because we had so much fun making it. Beaux announced after trying a bite, "I am the best cooker."

Oh- and we know the party was a success because Eden was exhausted from all the fun. Either that or she is terribly jealous and really wishes it were her party. Or maybe she's thinking,
"Why have I been born into a crazy house?"

Anyway you slice it, our dog house celebrated you in style. I know parents are suppose to say they want their children to grow up and be whatever they want to be; however, Beaux dreams of being a dog when she grows up so.... enough said. On your fourth birthday my love, I hope you continue to grow in grace and beauty. I pray your love for life, your creativity, your sense of wonderment, and your infectious joy grows each day. I want you to grow in virtue and wisdom. I hope a desire to care and serve others grows within your heart. But most of all, I want you to grow up not wanting to be whatever it is you want to be, buy whatever it is He wants you to be.

Happy Birthday my little puppy~
You bring the most beautiful light into my life.
I love you.

Did I mention we've been doing a little swimming?

2010-06-15T14:19:00.001-07:00

"Mom, do you mind? I've got swimming to do."
"I don't mind getting my hair wet in the least.
I can always fix it again in the morning."

"Just a little chilly if I do say so myself."

"I can swim, I really can swim all by myself.

Just don't let me loose in the deep."

I'm carrying a little baby weight around the middle.

But isn't cute on me?"

Thank You Swim Lessons

2010-06-09T20:21:00.000-07:00

Swim Lessons are a wonderful thing.

Yes, yes, yes. Swim lessons are a wonderful thing because they teach your children the life saving skill of knowing how to swim.

But.........

It also completely wears them out. A little swimming, a little lunch, then a little nap. Lessons are scheduled to be over this Friday but I think my children really need extensive training. We just might have so much to learn about swimming, we need to add a few more weeks of naps, uh, I mean lessons.

One more thing.....

I know every parent thinks their child is gifted and talented, but when it comes to swimming, Eli really is the next Micheal Phelps. Okay, that might be a little much, but he does have one mean back stroke. I don't however see Olympic gold in Beaux's future. She is convinced she doesn't really need swim lessons. Before she put one toe in the pool she let her teacher know she already knew how to swim. But her sweet teacher let me know after the first lesson, "Beaux's problem with swimming isn't her confidence, her problem with swimming is she can't swim."

Right before my eyes.....

2010-06-01T12:26:00.000-07:00

When I look at Eli, he has turned into a little boy.

He rides like the wind with the training wheels of his bike.

He spends as much time as possible without a shirt.

He out eats me at every meal~ and is hungry 20 minutes later.

He understands so much.

He wants to talk about everything he understands.

Eli is a little boy.

I love it.

I love him.

Sunscreen please....

2010-05-31T13:00:00.001-07:00

My seasonal depression has begun.

Summer in Texas has arrived.

Approximately 100 days of sweltering heat.

I do not like summer, but my children do.

Because along with scorching sun, comes swimming. Eli and Beaux are fish and after only two trips to the pool this year, Eden is already growing fins. In an attempt to survive summer, we will be spending many hours in the cool water of the pool. And on our way home from the pool, we may just need to stop for ice cream. It's medicinal, it helps me fight the summer blues.

A Deals A Deal.....

2010-05-25T14:25:00.000-07:00

Beaux agreed to play Star Wars if her brother

would concede to one request.

She would play Star Wars if Eli would play Pretty, Pretty, Princess.

We called him our Pretty, Pretty Prince, but I still don't think I will mention our little game to Dan. He might argue some deals are meant to be broken.

Style Icons..

2010-05-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

We call this hair style the, "Duane."

A little sweep over in the front. Everything nice and smooth.

Eli your lookin' real good, or at least Papa thinks so.

My Fair Lady....

2010-05-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

There are two things Beaux is obsessed with these days.

Wearing dresses and potty humor.

When I say she is obsessed with wearing a dress, this is understatement. She goes to bed each night planning her outfit for the next day. She specifically ask for dresses that twirl when she spins. She prefers not to wear leggings or shorts under the dress. And if you are brave enough to cross her, and pull a pair of jeans from the closet, be afraid, be very afraid.

When I say she is obsessed with potty humor, this is also is an understatement. Anything that relates to "pee-pee" or "poo-poo" is hysterical. And if you add the word, "Head," after either of these words, the laughter can not be contained. I work so hard to teach her the art of being ladylike -manner, etiquette, grace. Needless to say when I hear tell Eli from the backseat, "I'm going to pee-pee on your head," all my hard work seems to be in vain.

I decided to try my hand in manipulation and combine the two obsessions. One evening we were eating out, and Beaux asked to use the restroom. Mind you, she had been using her bodily functions language in the car on the way over, so I decided to seize an opportunity.

As we were in the bathroom, just the two of us, I started this conversation."

"Beaux, you know, ladies who wear beautiful dresses don't use potty talk. When you wear a dress, you must act like a lady. If you keep using potty talk, you just might not be able to wear dresses any more. "

Without hesitation Beaux responded oh so coolly. "I guess I can only use potty talk when you make me wear jeans."

You may have won this battle little Beaux, but I will win the war. Even if I have to go down fighting. But you can be sure if I go down, I will be wearing a dress.

Goodbye to Gerber

2010-05-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

No more cutting....

No more chopping...

No more mushing....

Just give it to me momma, I can handle this.

If she can do this to a pear, just imagine pizza night.

Gene Simons don't have nothing on you baby.......

2010-04-25T15:08:00.000-07:00

Please don't let this little incident with my mascara

be a sign of the teenage years.

Chariots of Fire

2010-04-21T14:20:00.000-07:00

Half way through a 5K Saturday morning, I asked myself,

"Why did I think this was going to be fun."
Jessica, John, Georgia, and I dragged ourselves out of bed at the crack of dawn only to run in a tropical rain forest. (Texas drizzle, a wooded trail, and 100% humidity equals a tropical rain forest.) Sweat mixed with precipitation ran down my face. My lungs heaved heavily. And as I put one foot in front of the next

I muttered to myself, "This is not fun."

But then.....

I crossed the finish line. It is a great feeling to finish something you determined to do. I had met my goal time. I didn't give up. I earned my T-shirt. I had finished. Now I was having a little more fun.

Jessica, John Georgia, and I met at the finish line and congratulated each other on a job well done. We then decided to reconsume the 500 calories we just burned with a celebratory trip to I-Hop.

As I drove home, feeling pretty pleased with myself, I had this thought. Paul compared the Christian life to a race. He encouraged us in Hebrew 12:1, "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." And as I thought back over my morning jog, the race marked for me had some highlights and some downfalls. The race was fun when it started and adrenaline kicked in. The race was fun as I reached the 1/2 way spot and knew my pace felt good. The race was fun when I got close to the line and saw I was going to beat my time. The race was fun as the four of us laughed and

joked about the adventure.

But there were moments it wasn't fun. It wasn't fun to be soaking wet. It wasn't fun to sweat like an animal. It wasn't fun to push past the desire to walk. It wasn't fun to realize I was at the halfway mark and still and halfway to go.

I had to take the good with the bad.

I think this might be a little like the race of life. There are some beautiful, amazing, precious, glorious moments within life, but there are some moments that aren't so fun. There are some moments that leave us exhausted, out of breath, with a cramp- wanting to quit. But I think in the end, when we finish this race called life, we will see the race was fun. Hopefully we will cross with a huge since of accomplishment. We will be crossing with those we love, and seeing we made the most of our time.

The end really is going to make this whole life worth it.

Not to mention, when the race of life is over, I'm going to have a perfect body and won't have to run anymore to burn a few hundred calories.

Happy Evening.....

2010-04-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

Dan calls me everynight on his way home from

work just to let me know he's coming.

Everynight I look forward to this call.

Tonight Dan called not only to say he was heading home,

and wanted to take us out to dinner.

No cooking, no dishes, and the company of my favorite people.....

a very nice night.

After a delicious meal with surprisingly well behaved children, (only one drink spilled the entire evening is a victory in my book) we drove home with a beautiful pink sunset in front of us, and silly laughter behind us. Add to this the fact I'm jotting this down around nine 'o clock and all my little people are freshly bathed and already asleep. Dan and I now have a few minutes to relax. (Technically Dan is already relaxing as he watches a show on the History Chanel about loggers, hence why I am relaxing a little with my computer.) I'm planning to finish the night with a hot bath and my comfortable bed. And as I drift off to sleep, I think I might have a few sweet dreams about

the next time Dan surprises us with a night on the town.

Why I might be a little crazy...

2010-04-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

On a beautiful day, you must take advantage of the park.

Swings, slides, sand, and sun make for happiness.

Until, someone goes missing.

I prefer not to say I lost Beaux. I'd rather say she was misplaced for a moment or escaped my eagle eye for an instant. But call it what you will, I could not find her. I looked up to the spot I had seen her playing only moments before, and she wasn't there. No worries yet. Just a few minutes prior, I told her we were done in the sandbox so my intuition told me to check the sandbox. As I came closer I realized she had not disobeyed me and was still no where to be found. I did another quick sweep of the playground and still didn't see her.

That is when it begins. That is when fear causes you to loose touch with reality. That is when you become totally unaware of the people around you. That is when you throw away any idea of social norms. That is when you become the,"Manic Mom." Any mother who has ventured out to a playground, crowded mall, or packed zoo has probably been the, "Manic Mom." You are a frantic, hysterically, lunatic all in the name of looking for you child. After my final scan of the playground was unsuccessful, I immediately begin screaming. "Beaux, Beaux, where are you." I am deliriously running around the park hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Other mothers, who have complete empathy for me because they have likely been a, "Manic Mom," themselves, have jumped off the parks benches to help me look. I'm starting to let my mind wander to dark places and just about to fall apart when I spot, two blond pigtails bouncing up and down. I run over to find her in a huge hole dug out by some very ambitious children. She was trying to continue their work, and couldn't be seen while in the depths of the project. I ran to her, hugged her, and even cried a little, all while Beaux stared at me like I truly was insane. The entire hunt couldn't of lasted more than 90 seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. I thanked the women who helped me look, all while forcing myself to breathe. This little adventure left me totally exhausted and it was time to go home.

Plus, I needed the peace of mind that came in strapping all three

children into car seats and buckles.

I knew I couldn't loose anyone, at least for a few minutes.

Field Goal

2010-03-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

Is it okay this made me a little teary?

Maybe I'm crying because I know this means we are one step closer to braces. Sorry baby, your daddy's genes are going to keep you at the orthodontist.

So happy together....

2010-03-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

This wasn't staged or posed.

They really do love to be together.

And she really thinks he is really funny.

Work in progress

2010-03-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

In an effort to not only praise but encourage further good behavior,

a few days ago we had a conversation that went something like this:

Me: Daddy, do you know what? Eli is such a great helper to me. He remembers to do his chores. He makes his bed, and feeds the dog. And he always helps me anytime I ask. He is just such a servant.

Dan: I am so glad to hear this. Mom, he really is growing up to be a Barnes' man. Barnes' men are always willing to help others. This is really good news.

As Eli is beaming from ear to ear from the praise and admonishment lavished on him, Beaux is sitting to the side just listening to the exchange. Their is a brief pause and in response to the conversation, we hear Beaux says this:

"Some girls are different."

"Some girls don't really like to help."

"Some girls don't help."

Lord, please help me. I'm going to need some help with this beautiful little girl that I love with all my being. The bright spot, I am confident she is not going to be pressured or easily manipulated. This really is a bright spot, unless you are the momma trying to get her to do what you want.

Pillows and blankets and sheets~ Oh My

2010-03-14T12:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a momma just has to sleep with her babies.

And sometimes a daddy just has to put his baby to bed.

(And sometimes a momma has to spend 45 minutes folding and

putting away all these blankets.)

Let the sunshine in.....

2010-03-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

Bouncy balls and sunshine go together so nicely.

Happy Birthday Baby~

2010-03-10T14:28:00.000-08:00

One year ago today, as we looked at you and agonized over what name suited you, never could I have of imagined the name we

finally chose would describe you perfectly.

Eden means, "Delight." No other word could describe you better.

You are an absolute delight.

Delightful as you flash that grin reserved only for me.

Delightful as you cut those eyes and wrap your daddy around your finger.

Delightful as you squeal when your brother wants to, "Eat you up."

Delightful as you read books to sister while she reads books to you.

Delightful in nature, spirit, personality, and heart.

Happy Birthday my little delight.

Target can really take it out of a girl....

2010-03-02T19:45:00.000-08:00

Shopping isn't an easy sport. I guess we are just going to

have to keep training.

My Twilight...

2010-02-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

Today was dark.

Today was chilly.

Today was rainy.

Today was wonderful.

There is something so peaceful and serene about days like today. I know the average person craves the sunshine and wants to soak up as much vitamin D as possible, but I love a little bit of dreary weather. It doesn't leave me feeling depressed, but refreshed. I have no vampire like tendencies, but there is something beautiful about cold, crisp, rain. We have had such a busy, amazing, encouraging, inspiring, and tiring week at the yearly church leadership conference, I welcomed a day of drizzle.

I snuggled with my kids in bed this morning as they talked about Star War Lego Sets and the fact we haven't made cupcakes in awhile. We also had an interesting debate between Eli and Beaux about who wanted to be Jacob and who wanted to be Esau. After drifting off to an Adventures in Odyssey Bible story last night, upon waking Eli decided Beaux should be Esau because he needed to be Jacob. His name means trickster and he got the blessing. Eli loves the idea of being a trickster, and the blessing part isn't too bad either. We stayed in sweats, read books, cleaned the house, ate soup, watched a movie, took a nap all to the sounds of the bread machine, the dryer, and the rain ~ very nice.

In my final few hours of this soggy Sunday I plan on soaking in the tub and reading a magazine. Oh, and I might spend a little time sharpening my fangs, you never know, it could be a full moon tonight.

Breaking up is hard to do...

2010-02-06T09:58:00.000-08:00

The time had come, well actually, the time had passed.
It was time to say goodbye to the paci.
It was time for our little bitty baby Beaux, who is only three-and-half, to let go of her most prized possession. And it truly is her most prized possession. She would give up everyone of her earthly treasures in exhange for her best friend, pink paci. But it was time.... well as I said before, it was past time and so we dropped the bomb last night. After a lovely family dinner, we told Beaux we wanted to go and get her something special. We wanted to take her to pick out a brand new stuffed animal to sleep with. We wanted her to snuggle her brand new doll all night long, but she would need to do it without the paci.
And then the tears began ~ More like weeping and nashing of teeth.
Not forced or fake tears. But the tears you cry because of a broken heart.
As we drove, she just kept crying over and over, "Mommy, Daddy, my heart is feeling so sad. Why are you making my heart sad."
And it wasn't just her heart that was sad, our hearts were too.
When we started to look at all the toys, her spirits lifted a little. And by the time we left, with a new red stuffed Valentines Day dog and a new Leapster game, she was feeling a little better. Dan would have bought her the entire store if I wouldn't of stepped in, he tried to truly convince me we should forget the stuffed puppy and buy her a real one when she was sobbing in the backseat. But to our amazement, the process went relatively smooth. After allowing her to play the Leapster for an hour after her bedtime, she came downstairs to let us know she was sleepy, but feeling a little, "Nervous," without paci. Dan went up and snuggled for all of about 3 minutes before she was sound asleep. When she woke up this morning, she told us she was felling a little grumpy without her paci, but in the grand scheme of things, I'll take a little grumpy. With all that said, it is done, we have closed this chapter, the paci is gone. Let's just hope tonight goes as smoothly and we don't have to make an emergency run to

Walmart around 8:30.

It wasn't easy......

But I survived.

2010-02-04T15:01:00.000-08:00

Eden is suffering from some major tooth cutting.

She is a little fussy.

Her nose is kinda runny.

Her diapers are VERY dirty.

I have changed more of what we call, "Explosion," diapers than I've wanted to over the past few days. And along with the diaper damage, comes the smell. The other day Eli told Lin,

"Granny, Eden's diapers smell worse than the stock show."

And as the person who gets to deal with the

problem up close and personally ~

I agree Eli, I agree.

I have great respect for those FFA kids who clean out the cow stalls and shovel the mess. Be it babies or bovine- it's a dirty job.

Working 9 to 5

2010-02-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

Things I need to do this week:

*Finish the mountain of laundry that has now taken over my laundry room.
*Change the sheets on all the beds.
*Drop off clothes at the dry cleaners.
*Make a trip to Sprouts.
*Take the boxes that are hindering our ability to sit around the table
to Good Will.
*Return a shirt I bought at Target on complete impulse. I know better than to buy on impulse at Target- impulsively at Target often leads to regret.
*Continue some experimental baking with 100% whole wheat.
*Repaint Eli's dresser.
*Research laying tile.
*Schedule an appointment for Beaux and the allergist.
*Deliver Movies to Family Video before we acrew a $7 dollar late charge. (This has happened once or twice.)
*Surf the net for pediatricians in our area.
*Disinfect all door knobs, hand rails, and, toilets.
*Organize more than one junk drawer.

Things I want to do this week:

*Look at a magazine.
*Create an amazing fort out of pillows and blankets in my living room with a little help from my favorite little people.
*Get my haircut.
*Take my kiddos to the library.
*Make a meal for a friend.
*Watch the first episode, of the last season of Lost, snuggled up with Dan.
*Read, "Same Kind of Different," without interruption.
*Write a few notes.
*Hangout with Jason, Georgia, Gracie Rae, Lyla, Jessica and John while we eat pizza and soup~ it is Georgia's speciality.
*Have dinner with girlfriends.
*Spend time with my camera and cute faces.
* Start making some really cute Valentine's cards with my two creative children.
* Hit up all my favorite stores. Marshalls, Target, and of course, Forever 21.
* Play the Wii with Eli.
*Listen to Beaux read piles of books to me.
*Tickle my baby just to hear that sweet little laugh.

Life is short right? Jeans can be worn more than once, disinfecting is overrated, and a little disorganization never killed anyone. I'm off to start that fort.

Boots, chaps and cowboy hats, nothing else matters....

2010-01-24T10:59:00.000-08:00

Everyone put their boots on Friday, and headed to the Fort Worth Sock Show. Dan has so much Texan in him, he was busting at the seams to see some prize animals. We saw tons of cows, tons of sheep, tons of pigs, tons of chickens, and smelled tons of......... well I think you know. As we were driving home that afternoon, Eli let me know, "Momma, I still smell like poop." Despite the aroma, we had a stinkin' good time.

Thank goodness for hand sanitizer after a petting zoo...

This was how Beaux enjoyed the entire day~ I love it. When I was a little girl, my grandpa would take my sister and I to the sale barn, and we walked around the exact same way.

Real cowboys. Those boots probably cost more than our monthly mortgage. Texas our Texas.

"Whatcha you think about the heard."

Sugar, spice and spurs... She really can pull this off.....

You can tell a real cowboy by the type of boots he wears....

"Young fella, if you're looking for trouble, I'll accommodate ya." -

John Wayne
Even the smell can't keep me from my food.
Well, I am a little embarrassed. I'm a bit of a mess.
But of all the pigs here, I am the cutest.

A little stomping in the hay....

We blazed a trail.
And because I can't resist..."Always take a good look at what you are about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was." Rump roast anyone?

2010-01-19T09:55:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across this picture as I was doing a little photoshopping today.

I took this picture at my grandmother's funeral.

I love its simplicity and beauty.

I love seeing something so beautiful add brightness

to a day that was so dark.

And as I sit here this morning looking at the flower, I am reminded how a verse in Isaiah promises us, "He will exchange our ashes for beauty."

He will take the charcoal, dust, and ruins I have made of my life, and turn them into something lovely. He doesn't just clean up my mess, he exchanges it for something beautiful. Nothing and no one is beyond repair. The most beautiful One, desires to bestow His beauty on me. Thank you Father for turning my deserts into gardens. You can create something beautiful and bright, from my darkness.

Attention

2010-01-17T18:12:00.000-08:00

Do not let these militant looking children fool you........

They do not always answer, "Yes Ma'am."

Name Calling

2010-01-10T20:13:00.000-08:00

Eden's given name: Eden Susannah

Beaux's interpretation: Eden Hosanna

She has been calling her this for weeks, and when she says it~

well it's just so stinkin' cute, I can't even correct her.

Pass the salsa please?

2010-01-07T19:25:00.000-08:00

Along with all the others who pledge to eat better in the new year, our family is ready to get back in the saddle. After weeks of holiday indulgence and happiness, we are ready to cut the sugar and add the veggies. But in one of the last meals of weakness, after leaving Dan to cover lunch, I came down stairs to find this dynamic duo making nachos. A few chips, some refried beans, and cheese- how could you go wrong? Beaux thought it was one of the best things she had ever tasted. And I believe the taste was only enhanced by cooking with her daddy. Snow White and Daddy enjoyed a little carpet picnic with big smiles. And you two ~ I know nachos are good, but just wait till I pull out the pita chips with humus- you won't even notice the difference. I believe that..... I'm not just trying to convince myself...... I love pureed' chickpeas over Tostitos.... who wouldn't it?.......

But it didn't hold us down...

2009-12-30T19:04:00.000-08:00

We might have been a little under the weather this Christmas,

but it didn't keep us from:

Smiling with a mountain of presents~

Getting just what we wanted~

Bathing in the sink~

And loving it~

Wearing a little green and yellow~

Wearing camo while driving green and yellow ~

Sledding on an old slide, pulled by a riding lawn mower~

Braving the elements~

Staring at our crush~

(Gracie Rae loves Mover Rich from the Imagination Movers,

and I just love Gracie Rae.)

Gleaning knowledge from educational toys~

(telling myself they're educational makes me feel so much better

about letting him playing them for hours)

Admiring the beauty of Christmas~

Warming by the fire.....

Building a snowman who needs a hardhat~

Celebrating the birth of our Savior. The king who humbled

himself to show us the face of God.

Please accept my apology....

2009-12-29T20:20:00.000-08:00

To my family:

I'm sorry......So sorry......

Christmas 2009 was a unique one, to say the least. After a few wonderful days with Granny and Grandpa, we braved the elements (and I do mean elements, just ask Jessica and John how their four hour trip turned into eight) but we arrived at Nana's and

Papa's Christmas evening ready to celebrate.

And then it began.

My sweet mother woke me up around 2:00 am to let me know Beaux was throwing up, and as I staggered out of bed to help Beaux, well let's just say I joined Beaux. But we were only the first. It was quick, it was mean, and it was widespread. The bug hit Jason, followed by my dad, then Georgia, and just as we were pulling out the driveway, my mother started to get a twinge. Oh and don't let me forget to mention after Jessica and John left Christmas early so they could be outstanding employees and return to their jobs, Jessica joined the club as she passed over the Oklahoma border and had to miss work anyway.

I'm sorry.... so sorry....

Beaux and I brought a terrible gift to the festivities this year.

A gift that kept on giving.

I hope each of you will be able to forgive us and I'm sure we will sit around the Christmas table next year, and laugh and laugh about Christmas 2009 .

We will be able to laugh, right?

Makes me Smile...

2009-12-17T19:07:00.001-08:00

Mary did you know......

that your baby sister

won't stay out from behind the tree.

(And won't leave any of the ornaments on either?

The bottom 12 inches of my tree are looking a little bare.)

May your days be merry and bright.....

2009-12-10T09:39:00.000-08:00

Tree decorating.......

Playing in the snow....

(It might only be a little, but it counts because this is Texas.)

And drinking hot chocolate.....

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Pout....

2009-12-02T19:57:00.000-08:00

I'm still mourning the loss of my friend, my photo friend that is. I purchased a lens, and over the past week have become pals with the new addition. I sat down yesterday to load all the latest snapshots: Thanksgiving, a snow day, Christmas decorations, and cute faces, only now there is something wrong with my card. So hopefully after a trip to Radio Shack tomorrow, I will stop my whining. But while I'm on a role, I'll take the chance to whine about something else...... the end of Project Runway. Project Runway is my favorite show- the premise is simple. 12 aspiring fashion designers are picked from across the United States. They are dumped in a huge warehouse in the Fashion District of New York, and left to amaze. Each week they are given a new challenge. Challenges range from design a ball gown to take a dated wedding dress, use only the fabric, and create a beautiful new look. With only two days, the designer must concoct, shop, and sew a fantastic piece. When all is said and done, and I've seen a few when it didn't get quite done, a model walks the piece down the runway, and the loosing look is sent home. The creativity of these people amazes me- did I mention one of the challenges was to sew a dress out of newspaper- and they were beautiful! The season wrapped two weeks ago, and although I didn't like the girl who won, I'm still missing my show. So in an attempt to fill the void, I've decided to leave my girls a few fashion tips. I'm not quite as fashion forward as my friends on Project Runway, but even if I can't sew a dress out of newspaper, I can still offer a few of my personal suggestions.

1. Find your signature color. Find the color that looks fabulous on you and buy it. When your hair is a little flat or your complexion isn't it's best, put it on and it will boost your confidence.

2. Splurge on a great pair of jeans. The magic pair that makes you look 5 pounds lighter. Even if they are pricey (girls-remind me I said this when you are 16 and begging me for a pair of Seven jeans) a great pair of jeans will be worth it.

3. It is better to be overdressed rather than under dressed. Casual and comfy isn't the only choice. Wear a dress and loose the jeans. Slip into heals instead of flip flops. It is nice to put your best foot forward.

4. Own a pair of high heels. Even if they hurt your feet, own them and wear them. You walk a little taller in high heals, and yes, I meant to say that.

5. Iron. Everything looks a little better pressed. Starch is good.

6. Invest in Fashion Tape. This tape holds your clothes in place. You want an up turned collar or a shirt to stay where it needs to- fashion tape is like a little piece of magic.

7. Use accessories wisely. To much of a good thing, isn't always a good thing.

8. Classic is always in style. Don't get me wrong, I love the trendy stuff, but you can never underestimate the power of the classic black pant. You can wear the trendy vest, (which I'm sure when you catch a picture of me in this piece 20 years from now- you will laugh hysterically,) but pair it with a classic jean or pant. Those tall black boots are great, with that classic black dress. A starched collared shirt will never be a fashion don't. Embrace the classics, they will take care of you. Trust me, when you look back at photos, you will thank me for this.

Fashion truly is in the eye of the beholder and these are just a few of my thoughts - But hopefully if these aren't enough, Project Runway will still be going and we can look to it for guidance and wisdom.

No words needed...

2009-11-12T15:01:00.002-08:00

Well, except maybe beautiful.

He's making a list, and checking it twice

2009-11-06T14:08:00.000-08:00

We wanted a little Christmas spirit this afternoon so we took a trip to a huge decorators warehouse that was filled to the brim with Christmas galore. My children love to look at anything Christmas - it is a huge sacrifice on my part, but I will suffer through rows of ornaments, lights, and garland because I love them. And if you believed the last sentence, just ask my husband how many boxes of decor are stored in our attic. I love it all too. I must have inherited the gene - my attic doesn't even come close to my mothers. The four of us thoroughly enjoyed over an hour looking at the most wonderful time of the year. We also talked about Santa. This is the first year Beaux has really been interested in Santa and we covered all the basics: Santa lives in the North Pole,

he has a workshop full of elves who help him build the toys, and he has a naughty and nice list.

I wish you could have seen the wheels of her mind turning as I explained the concept. Talk of this idea continued between

Eli and Beaux as we drove home. This is what I overheard.

Beaux: Eli, do you think Santa will bring you something for Christmas?

Eli: Yeah, I been feeding Tex and making my bed. I think he will bring me a dinosaur that really roars. Do you think Santa will bring you something?

Pause

Beaux: I hope so.

Me too Beaux. Me too.

Highway to the Danger Zone......

2009-11-04T13:12:00.000-08:00

My camera is broken.

The story of it's destruction is another post altogether. Let's just say the little boy who knocked it onto the concrete- after being warned not to mess with the things in the trunk because it might knock the camera onto the concrete- survived only because it was his fifth birthday. He is so lucky you receive an extra measure of grace on your fifth birthday. Nonetheless, the camera is inoperable, I looking for a new lens, and I feel like I missing an appendage without my memory capturing friend. So I have decided to use this cameraless opportunity, to go back and weed through some old photos and reminisce. I think I'll post a few of the highlights over the past weeks - starting with party pics from Eli's Birthday.

Note: the pictures you are about to see are pre-needing that extra, extra, extra, measure of birthday grace.

With our army themed party and dressed in his fatigues, he does look a little

like Tom Cruise doesn't he? Maybe a little Top Gun?

2009-10-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 17:22

"A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones."

I often remind my children of their need to get a, "Happy Heart." I use this phrase to gently encourage them to get a better attitude or stop the whining. But this morning Beaux embarked on a little introspection of the heart all on her own. The conversation went something like this....

Me: "Beaux do not tell momma ,No, when I ask you to do something. When I ask you do something you say, Yes mam.'

(Imagine Beaux looking highly disinterested in what I am saying.)

Me: "Please look at me while I'm talking to you. Look at my face, does it look happy to you."

(Imagine Beaux looking highly annoyed by my rebuke)

Beaux: "Momma, look at my heart, does it look happy to you."

What could I do besides send her to her room before she saw me giggle. I think the "Happy Heart" challenge is going to apply to me today ~my bones are feeling a little brittle.

Rollin'

2009-10-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

A gift from Papa~

Thanks for the grill, now Eli can be gangsta'.

Texas Weather...

2009-10-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

One day it's 90 degrees, and then next day it's 54.

I love that second temperature. It's a sign of my favorite season. I love fall for a hunderd reasons, but on the greatest is it begins to cool off. After 90 plus days of miserable, oppressive, stifling heat- it begins to cool off. But the great state of Texas keeps us on our toes. It can go from hot to cold to hot again, all in a 24 hour period. The kids decided to take advantage of one of our last warm days, well I hope one of our last few days, with a picnic. That crafty Jessica made Beaux the cutest picnic set for her birthday. So we enjoyed eggs, bacon, cinnamon rolls, and humidity on our lawn. But who know, tomorrow we could be on our porch eating popsicles or sipping hot chocolate- it's anybody's guess.

Eli's face says it all- "Mom, let us getting back to our eating."

On Your Marks, Get Set, Gone...

2009-10-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

It's official- She is mobile.
Technically she has been crawling for about the last three weeks, I just haven't being willing to admit it. I remember when Eli learned to crawl, I was absolutly ecstatic. I encouraged him, aided him, bribed him to move those little arms and legs towards me; when he mastered the task, reality set in, and I realized crawling isn't all its cracked up to be. You discover very quickly once they crawl, they never stay where you leave them, they always head towards the stairs, and they find every piece of trash, lego, and barbie shoe on the floor. I am very thankful Eden has reached this developmentally milestone, but would it be wrong for me to put my foot on her bottom every time she gets up on those hands and knees and give her a little push back down to the ground?

Did you see that mom?

I got this down.

I can't help but be mushy..

2009-10-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

I am beginning to catch a glimpse of the man you will become.

You are a thinker, much like your daddy,

I can always see something going on in that mind.

You are adventurous and will jump off, over,

and through anything in your path.

You are an outdoors man. Heat, rain, sleet, or snow-
the elements never keep you indoors.

You are thoughtful and compassionate towards other.

You are taking an interest in hunting- cameo and the bow and arrow are your new found friend. I have a feeling, before I know it, you are going to be sitting in a tree stand.

You are inquisitive. You are always looking to learn something new.

And I'm happy to oblige- even if that means answering

one thousand questions each day.

You are a planner. You like to wake up and make a schedule,

which often helps to keep me organized.

You are a wonderful big brother. You are extremely protective and nurturing to your sisters. No one makes Eden laugh the way you do. I can always find you

and Beaux playing in your own, unique, little world-

well, that is if you aren't doing a little a fighting.

You are creative. You have the ability to take any toy, and play with it in a way never intended.

You are silly - and you have a point of no return.

Once you get past a point of craziness, there is no bringing you back.

All I can do is sit back, roll my eyes, and giggle.

You are a family man. Papa, Nana, Grandpa, Granny, Georgia,

Jason, Gracie Rae, Lyla, Jessica, and John are your favorite people to be with.

Well that is except for maybe - me, Daddy, Beaux, and Eden.

You are a boy that never ceases to amaze me. I feel like I see your kindness, strength, character, and joy displayed in a new way each day.

You were the start to my road of motherhood -

and what I wonderful start you were.

I can't wait for all the wonderful starts that are still to come.

Happy Birthday Darling.

Daddy's Girl..

2009-10-03T19:37:00.000-07:00

She has him wrapped around her finger.

To everything, there is a season..

2009-10-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

To my sweet children,

You won't have the opportunity to know your great grandmother. She was full of life. She had the greatest sense of humor that was only matched by her laugh. She loved to cook. She knew how to make you feel special. You may not have the opportunity to know her, but your life was shaped by her. She wholeheartedly served and loved Christ. She taught my father to serve and love Christ... who taught me to serve and love Christ. And now I am striving to teach you to serve and love Christ.

She left the greatest legacy possible.

Mima ~ I miss you already. I can't wait until we meet on that beautiful shore.

Vivian Marie Robertson

March 4th, 1930- September 24th, 2009

Strike a pose....

2009-09-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

I've really been playing around with my camera lately- I've read the manual, almost cover to cover. I feel like I need a PhD to actually understand the manual, but I'm trying. I've been learning from a few books, and getting some great tips from fellow photographers.

But one of the keys to great photography is practice, practice, practice.

And my children, naturally, are my subjects.

If a photo could talk, this one would be saying,

"Mom, please get that camera out of my face, I'm trying to watch cartoons."

Eli doesn't seem to mind quite as much....

I promise not to make either of them walk the catwalk.

Till death do us part.....

2009-09-18T06:42:00.000-07:00

Dan and I had the opportunity to do something very interesting last night. We went to watch a live debate between two pastors, mine included, who believe the institution of marriage is one man, one woman, within the confines of marriage, for life. The opposing side was a gentleman who operated a website catering to married men looking to have adulterous affairs; the other woman was a proponent of open marriage - the spouses can engage in affairs as long as they are honest, and share the extramarital relationships with their partner. Did I mention it was very interesting night? I think what fascinated me most was to hear how the two proponents of infidelity justified their actions. A few of their arguments were:

* The institution of marriage is antiquated. In a society where 1 in 3 married men cheat, it may be time to evolve the concept of marriage to address our current culture.

* Likewise, when so many marriages end in divorce as a result of infidelity, why not explore the idea of allowing it, to lower the divorce rate and keep couples together.

* The overriding argument I observed from the evening was this; God's word and law are not the absolutes on defining a happy marriage.

-They tried to disprove the accuracy of the bible, claiming it was written by fallible men.

-They argued there are 613 laws in the bible, many of which we don't adhere to any more-we do eat pork and shellfish these days.

-They contended there are many things we misinterpret about marriage because there is a breakdown in understanding due to the original language.

-They indicated even some of the biblical giants, the pillars of our faith, had more than one wife.

They worked hard to prove their case; I listened closely, not so that I might be persuaded to their side, but to try and understand what had lead these people astray.

Eli, Beaux and Eden,

I can't imagine the world you will live in. Already today, people are alarmingly desensitized and accepting of sin. You can't turn on the television or pick up a magazine without seeing blatant sin, and what is so terrifying, it doesn't even shock us any longer. And with that said, I want you to remember the argument these two amazing pastors brought as you wrestle with the sanctity of marriage in your day:

Ed Young said it perfectly: Marriage was created by God. He is the Author of it. And because He is the creator, he gets to set the rules.

A monogamous marriage is God's best - just because we are sinful creatures; just because 1 in 3 men cheat, just because their are voices in our culture trying to oppose the concept of one man, one woman, in the confines of marriage for life- does not mean adultery should become an accepted practice. God has deemed what is best for marriage, just because we fall short of it, doesn't mean we should lower the standard.

Marriage is a sacred union. "What God has put together, let no man separate."

There is no debate.

Humidity.....

2009-09-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

I feel your pain..... untameable hair is a genetic trait I'm sorry I have passed on to you. Just remember, the ponytail is your only ally when the humidity level is above fifty percent. If it makes you feel better, you should see my hair today.

The many faces of...

2009-09-09T19:27:00.000-07:00

She is so stinkin' happy, and so am I.

To me....

2009-09-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

Just because it doesn't feel right, doesn't mean it's wrong.

I am so thankful the Lord created us with the capacity to feel. We know elation as we walk down the aisle to say "I do". We experience wonder as we hold a new born baby in our arms. We understand happiness when we laugh with dear friends. We know delight as we watch our children grow. We walk through sorrows that cause us to cling to the Father. We have seasons of sadness that make us thank God for the wonderful relationships he has put in our life to pull us through. I am so thankful God gives us the opportunity to feel excited, delighted, joyful, silly, jubilant, ecstatic; even the chance to experience sadness, disappointment, discouragement, impatience, and anger- because these feelings leave us feeling alive. Our emotions are a beautiful gift which connect us to God.

Emotions are a powerful force to be reckoned with. There depth, there passion, and there strength must be examined. There are points when we can not simply trust our feelings. There are times when our emotions can lead us astray. What feels right can be wrong. Conversely, what feels wrong can be right. But thankfully we don't have to go completely mad trying to decide if our feeling are correct or incorrect- we don't have to solely rely on our emotions to guide us through this life. The Lord gives us his Spirit to lead us.

These things I have spoken to your while abiding with you. But the helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things and bring you to remembrance of all that I have said to you.
John 14: 25-26.

But when He, the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak of his own initiative. But whatever He hears, He will speak. And He will disclose to you what is to come. John 16:13

Although we must often differentiate between the prompting of the Spirit, and our feelings; we have confidence when we seek to hear the Spirit - He will always guide us to truth. I love that the verse says "He will disclose to you what is to come." When the Spirit begins to lead us in a certain direction... we must remember- the Spirit trumps our feelings.

Just because it doesn't feel right, doesn't mean it's wrong.

I am certain it didn't feel right as Isaac placed his son on the alter.

I am certain it didn't feel right as Moses' mother placed her tiny baby boy in a basket on the river.

I am certain it didn't feel right as Jacob forgave his brothers who had stripped him and left him for dead.

I am certain it didn't feel right as Peter stepped onto the stormy sea to walk to the One who called him.

Just because it doesn't feel right, doesn't' mean it's wrong.

Sometimes we must fight our feelings to hear what God wants us to do. Sometimes we must seek to hear God's voice through his word, or Christ's examples. We must ask the Lord to help us separate from our emotions- and hear his Spirit.

Despite the dangers, I'm so glad for the capacity to feel. Because without the capacity to feel, I would have never "felt" my need for him.

These boots are made for walking....

2009-09-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

Well that is if these boots are made for walking to the beat of their own drum. Beaux is definitely an individual. I love that while Daddy and Eli were busy scrubbing, spraying, and washing the truck, Beaux was in her own little world. I completely expected to walk outside and find her squirting her brother with the hose - totally drenched; but instead I found her in these hand-me down-cowboy boots , deep in conversation with her imaginary friends. She has had quite a few imaginary friends over the past few months. They seem to come and go and I'm never exactly sure who is with us. But Sammy, Alicia, and Grandma are dear friends to Beaux. The other day I found her reading to her imaginary gang- the conversation went a little something like this:

"Sammy, you sit down and listen; if you are not on your bottom you will be in time out........(pause to listen for a response)

I want you to put a bubble in your mouth..........

(pause to listen for a response)

I will turn the pages- don't touch the book with your fingers.......

(pause to listen for a response)

Now I'm going to read you a story about Paul of Tarship......."

(I think she meant Paul of Tarsus, but when you are listening to Bible Stories on CD. as you drift to sleep, and you are three, it might sound like Paul of Tarship.)

I already know her boots are made for walking-

but I'm beginning to fear it will be a very bossy walk.

2009-09-01T15:18:00.000-07:00

4:30 is a great time at our house.

Everyone has rested.

Daddy will be home in about an hour and a half.

Dinner gets started.

And..... The Banana Splits Show comes on.

In case you aren't familiar with the show, it is a television program that originally aired in 1971 and has totally captured my children's attention. It is and odd show. The first half entertains with a cartoon version of The Three Musketeers or Arabian Nights. The second half is entitled Danger Island- a non-cartoon family stranded on an island as they try to escape from the savage natives and ruthless pirates. In between are brief vignettes of a costumed dog, elephant, monkey, and lion telling knock-knock jokes and playing musical instruments. I imagine this show to be somewhat of a child's version of Laugh In. It is a little psychedelic, perhaps created by people on mind altering drugs, and a tad bit weird. But my children love it- they absolutely love it. I'm not sure why the fascination- but they are hooked. And so am I- I can get alot done in this thirty minute time period, not to mention the theme song is kinda catchy.

Even Eden gets drawn under its spell every once and a while.

Bottomless Pits

2009-08-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

My children can eat. I believe it started in utero as the absorbed enough nutrients to enter the world weighing in at: 9lbs 6oz. for Eli, 8lbs. 8oz, for Beaux, and 8lbs. 11oz. for Eden. They were birthed, and then immediately looked around the delivery room for something to eat. On any given day I hear,"I'm hungry," approximately 107 times. Somewhere in between breakfast, lunch, and dinner I peel, cut and chop countless apples, oranges, and pineapples. Not to mention all the peanut butter crackers I unwrap, bowls of goldfish I fill, and granola bars I open. And upon occasion when we have something really good- like pizza or Rosas (a great little Mexican spot), my children can plow through an astonishing number of slices and more tortillas then seem possible for the human stomach. Needless to say, I shouldn't be at all surprised that sweet little Eden is an eater. We served her cereal for the first time last week, and she was pleased. I remember Eli and Beaux thrusting the mush out of their mouths for days. It took quite a few tries before they agreed to ever swallow. Not my little Eden. It was love at first bite. I put the spoon in her mouth, she smiled, then devoured an entire bowl. Each time I would take the spoon away from her mouth to grab a little more, she would pull my hand back, begging - more, more, more. I have a feeling we might need to win the lottery before the teen years - to help cover our enormous grocery bills.

Just worth mentioning:

I asked the kiddos their most favorite places to eat.

Eli chose Casa Bonita. (Thanks you Nana and Papa.)

Beaux chose the Hot Dog store (also know as McAlisters) or Bosses Pizza.

Should I be offended that no one chose the delicious cooking straight from my kitchen?

My Little Monkey

2009-08-26T14:42:00.000-07:00

A boy and a rope swing....life is good.

Suffering for Your Art

2009-08-24T15:02:00.000-07:00

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall....

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.....

All of the crying and all of the glue...

Couldn't make this Humpty, good as new.

Last week Georiga, Jessica, and I took all the kiddos to paint pottery. Despite the fact we were surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of breakable objects in a very tight space, we were able to enjoy a creative outing and paint a beautiful pottery piece of their choice. Eli chose a bear, Gracie Rae a pig, and Beaux chose Humpty Dumpty. I only wish we could have a recording of her saying, "Humpty Dumpty," for posterity-it is precious. There were a few tears shed as I explained we couldn't take the masterpieces home with us but had to leave them to be put in the kiln; but as soon as we walked out the door the countdown was on until Friday afternoon when we could pick up our treasures. There was pure joy as we returned to the shop and claimed our now shiny sculptures. We couldn't wait to get home and show them to daddy. And we did rush in the door and show them to daddy- and within ten minutes of being inside the house, a crash was heard, followed by endless tears, and a broken Humpty Dumpty. Dan did his best with the glue, but some of the pieces shattered and literally couldn't be put back together again. I think as she stood that morning deciding which piece of pottery to paint, her choice might of been a little prophetic.

A peek at Eli's artwork, still intact, as of the moment.

Like a Rolling Stone

2009-08-17T12:32:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the anniversary of Woodstock. And I have a feeling if I would have been around 40 years ago I would of taken my young, groovy self to visit that muddy, hippie, peace filled field. I would of abstained from the fornication and hallucinations- but I would have went for the rock and roll. What I wouldn't have done for the chance to hear Janis Joplin belt,"Piece of my Heart," and wear a fabulous pair of bell bottom jeans and love beads. I am a lover of music. Some of my earliest memories involve music: singing about "Control,"with Janet Jackson and my mom in the backseat of the car. Or there are the memories of me, my elderly teacher, Scott Joplin, the Entertainer, and hours of practicing the piano. I am a lover of music. I am a lover of very eclectic music. Eli, Beaux, and Eden - I know one day as you read this you probably won't even begin to comprehend your mother was ever hip enough to listen to cool music. But back in the day, I knew a thing or two. And in honor of Woodstock- and my sweet children, if you aren't sure what it was, google it- I've made a list of some of my favorite songs. This is in no way a comprehensive list- I could of gone on, and on, and on -Janis Joplin, Aretha Franklin, Verdi -it never ends. But this is one CD full of great music. I'm not sure if 20 years from now you'll think of your mom as "down" (slang for hip.) But please be assured of this, your "Mama was a rolling stone."- The Temptations (variation mine)

Son of a Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield

Read My Mind - The Killers

Dream A Little Dream of Me - Mama Cass Elliot

Til Kingdom Come - Coldplay

Wonderwall - Oasis

Love Stoned- Justin Timberlake (Edited Version Please)

Can't Take My Eyes Off of You - Lauryn Hill

Falling In Love with You - Elvis

Lord of Lords - Hillsong

Was it a Morning Like This - Sandi Patty

Here With Us - Joy Williams

Hanging by a Moment- Lifehouse

Karma Police - Radio Head

Dancing in the Dark -Bruce Springstein

Heartbreaker - Mariah

Pickup Man - Joe Diffee

The Marriage of Figaro - Mozart

Always on My Mind - Willy Nelson

I Want to Stroll Over Heaven - Alan Jackson

Piece of My Heart- Janice Joplin

You be the judge

2009-08-14T14:14:00.000-07:00

A face only a mother could love..... I don't think so.

Rise and Shine

2009-08-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

Dan shared this with me the other night...

Lamentations 3:22-24

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

When we are facing an obstacle, a difficulty, a trying season, we can trust that his love never ends, that his mercies never cease. But often I think we want God to give us enough grace, strength, and mercy to sustain us through our trail from the very beginning- all at once. But I'm not sure that is what he promises us. He tells us his faithfulness is great, and his mercies begin afresh each morning. He promise us the mercy we need to face the challenges of the day: not the next week, the next month, or the next year. He will give us the mercy we need for today. What a brilliant plan, it keeps us dependent on Him. Keeping this verse in mind is a wonderful way to wake up each morning.

2009-08-07T15:12:00.000-07:00

A minivan

2 four month olds

1 one year old

1 three year old

1 four year old

232 miles

5 hours

Jessica

Georgia

Myself

Add in a changing diapers and DVD's, serving lunch, reading books, car sickness, searching for paci's, shushing crying babies for hours- all while driving: And it was still totally worth it. We had a great week at Nana's and Papa's and even though the car ride home was a little brutal, Eli asked as we were bringing the suitcases into our house, "Can we go back tomorrow?"

It's a man's world?

2009-07-28T13:00:00.000-07:00

In hopes to impart gentleman like behavior to Eli, I have instructed him to open the door for his mother and sisters everytime we are out and about. Each time he remembers Beaux and I will turn and say, "Why thank you gentleman." Now I feel compelled to admit that although developing chivalry is my main objective, it also helps that he opens the door because I am pushing a stroller everywhere we go- and it is really difficult to open a door and push the stroller through at the same time! The other day Eli forgot to fulfill his noble duty of opening the door for his fair maidens and I politely reminded him of his job. To which he responded he was tired of always being the last one through the door. It wasn't fair Beaux always got to go through the door first. To which I explained gentleman always put ladies first. I continued with what I thought was a meaningful and poignant moment. "Your daddy is a real gentleman and he always puts me first. He opens the door and let's me go through first, he lets me get into the car first, he lets me get onto the elevator first...Daddy is a real gentleman and he always puts ladies first." Eli looked up at me with those colossal blue eyes with the dark

black lashes, blinked, and said, "I bet

daddy wishes he could be a lady like you some days."

I don't think so.... well except for maybe Mondays, because if he were a lady on Monday, it might get him out of taking out the trash.

No show tunes this time, I promise

2009-07-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

As promised, a few more pics of our summer adventures....

-Fourth of July Style-

This is one good looking gang. Now where they are looking I'm not exactly sure, but you try getting five kids four and under to look at the camera. I like that this picture actually captures the moment. CHAOS! But check out those dresses. These were a part of Jessica's craftiness and handiwork. She and Georgia came over one afternoon and we worked on sewing up these cute little numbers. I say we- Jessica and Georgia did most of the sewing and I did more of the ironing. We all have our gifts! The dresses and the girls were darling. Poor Eli, so outnumbered.

Always smiling. Always.

Maybe not fun...but a first. Sweet, precious, cautious, little Gracie Rae's first black eye. A slip down the stairs caused a few tears and a nice shiner. Thank you Lord my children had nothing to do with the tumble. They were innocent- this time.

My dad must be so proud of his daughter's athletic abilities!

I think he could take Georgia, Jessica, or his mother any day.

Yes John, I did get a picture of your patriotic attire. You and my mom look really good!

This is the sign of a great time. Either that or this is a sign of I need a little break.

Summer Lovin' - Had me a Blast- Summer Lovin' - Happened so Fast

2009-07-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

No one can tell you about the days of summer like Danny Zuko and Sandy, I'm referencing a little "Grease" incase you don't know your musicals. But with the heat index reaching 110 degrees around here, I'm afraid the sun might be frying my brain cells so I've decided to make a few entries about what we have been doing with our summer days and nights before the heat melts them away- if only I could sing them.

Country life...cows, tractors, and giant water slides. If only this thing were green, yellow, and made by John Deere, life would be perfect... for Eli and Wayne.

I love these hands. Colorful hands for a colorful girl.

Yellow usually isn't my color but....this doesn't look too bad on me. Dan and I like Wayne's new toy. I'm so glad he likes to share.

We have added a little danger to our summer. Eli has decided to scale anything. This picture depicts a piano bench with a chair stacked on top, next to a high chair with a foot stool teetering back and forth. As of July 17th, no broken bones, but I've got my fingers crossed. Notice the fine physique. Eli's summer attire is shirtless. Dan assures me it is normal for boys not to wear shirts for the whole summer. Lin assures me it is normal for boys not to wear shirts for the whole summer except to the dinner table- at least that was the rule around her house!

My heroes- note who is missing a shirt!

Summer means lots of Popsicles.

Lots of Happiness.

I could sing, "You're the One that I Want, You are the One I Want, Ooooo Ooooo Oooooo Honey," but maybe I should just try and watch a little bit of Grease instead. It is a summer classic. That's enough summer catch up for tonight. Ohhh, those summer nights. Okay, I'll stop, it's getting obnoxious now.

A Day In this Wonderful Life

2009-07-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

I sat down to write about our wonderful Fourth of July weekend and post a few pictures of all of the fun but........

I am tired.

After being banned from driving for the past seven weeks, I have been given permission to venture out, as of last Monday, and take short, local trips - I am a girl on a mission: I have errands to run. Walmart, Target, the Post Office, the Library- have missed me.

Today we decided to squeeze in a trip to the post office, The Community Storehouse, and a local resale shop before naptime. After naps we did a litte shopping at the mall with my sisters. Five children- four and under- three strollers-two dashes to the bathroom-seven trips on the elevator- one snugglie- and three pair of jeans later- will leave you a little drained. We grabbed a quick dinner with the crew- add Jason and John and then headed home for bed. Unfortunately two hours after bed time I'm still fighting people to go to sleep. Eli and Beaux began sharing a room a few night ago and let's just say,"It is the best of times, it is the worst of times." They are enjoying a mini-slumber party every night- the problem lies when eventually Eli wants to slumber and Beaux wants to continue the party. Eli just came in my room crying because, "She won't stop singing Mama. She just keeps singing Flintstones, meet the Flintstones-over and over and over again." That might be enough to make me cry too. We are all a little tired around here. After our busy day, in the 110 heat index, we might be a little cranky too. Bottom line- we all need a good night's sleep. We will all feel better after we get a little rest.

Right Beaux? (Please don't wet the bed tonight.....)

Right Eden? (Please don't chose tonight to make a stand and cry

for that paci...)

Is it to late too book a hotel room around here?

Happy Birthday Baby

2009-06-30T13:57:00.000-07:00

You are the greatest birthday gift I will ever receive.

Everything about you is larger than life. Your personality. Your beauty. Your friendliness. Your talkativeness. Your energy. Your voice. Your hair. Your laugh. Your creativity. Everything about you has a little more life, a little more vivaciousness, and a little more spirit.

I only hope you know my love for you is larger than life too.

I Want to Hold Your Hand-

2009-06-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

Where can I go from your spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

If I settle on the far side of the sea,

Even there your hand will guide me,

Your right hand will guide me fast.

Psalm 139:7-10

Crossing a parking lot with three kids can be a dangerous feat. I breath a huge sigh of relief when I get everyone from the car to the Target entrance on a crowded shopping morning. But in order to keep everyone alive, I often must use the mommy death grip of a hand hold. Not the sweet, "Let's hold hands darling," interlock- but the tight squeeze that says, "I'm not letting go-NO way- NO how- NO matter what." The other day we were crossing the parking lot at Chick-Fil-A and I was holding Beaux's hand. She was trying to wiggle away and all of the sudden I instantly used the mommy death grip of-a-hand hold. She wiggled, wrestled, and fought but I couldn't let go and I tightened my grip. Finally I heard her voice whimper, "Mommy, you are hurting me." To which I explained, if she would hold my hand nicely and just let me walk her to the car, it wouldn't hurt. I am the mommy and it's my job to keep her safe,

even if it hurts.

But even as I read these verses- "Even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will guide me fast"- I see myself as the little girl in the parking wiggling, wrestling, and fighting against God's hand and where it wants me to go. I'd much rather box with him than just bow down to him. I take comfort knowing God can use his death grip hand hold on me. I wiggle, I wrestle, I twist, and I fight against him. I'm sure there are times I even complain,"Lord, you are hurting me," as he tightly holds onto me. The truth is, I am the one bringing pain to myself as I put up the fight. It would be so much easier if I would stop fighting and let the Lord lead me where he wants me to go. But no matter how hard I wrestle, he won't let go. He promises his right hand will hold me fast. I know the Lord must be thinking,"Bridget, this would be so much easier if you would just take my hand willingly and let me lead you where I want you to go, but I won't let you go. I have a firm grip." I'm praying Beaux and I both make it across our parking lots.

Have No Fear, Super Dad Is Here

2009-06-21T13:27:00.000-07:00

Batman is the caped crusader...

The Hulk has incredible strength...

Wonderwoman twirls that cool lasso....

Superman can fly........

Underdog rescues sweet Polly Pure bred everytime....

Combine all of these superhero powers together, and they still got nothing on you Dad! To a "Super" Dad this Father's Day- I love you, Bridget.

*Picture courtesy of Eli's Fourth Birthday and obsession with superheros.

Hot Fun in the Summer Time....

2009-06-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

Some people love watermelon.....

And some people don't....

I realize it is considered unamerican not to enjoy watermelon; however, Eli and Bridget do not like this summer time treat. In effort to make amends, I promise to teach Eli all the words to Lee Greenwood's' patriotic anthem, "Proud to Be an American," and I won't even mention that neither one of us like apple pie.

Calling 'em Like She Sees 'em

2009-06-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

We are not early risers at the Barnes' house. I realize there are many things I could accomplish if I would get out of bed with the sun. I could enjoy a few moments of silence, I could shower without someone standing outside the glass door, I could exercise (but why would I want to go and waste those precious hours on something like sweat?) I could be exceptionally productive all before the first sleepy-child says, "Good morning, momma."

But most mornings I hear, "Good morning Momma," by my bedside. Instead of being awakened by the sun, I am awakened by a messy, curly, haired girl in Sleeping Beauty pajamas looking to cuddle. Beaux is usually the first to rise. Every morning she stumbles into our room,

crawl across Dan, and curls up right next to me.

She loves for me to scratch her back or run my fingers through her hair. She loves to scratch my back and play with my hair. She loves to be loved. Can you blame me for wanting to stay in bed and enjoy this every morning? It isn't a bad way to start the day.

The other day, as we were lying there, she was intently staring at my face. She wasn't saying anything, just intently starring. I could tell the wheels in her mind were turning, but with this girl, there is just no telling what she might be thinking. She touched my nose, my chin, and my eyelashes. I thought we were sharing a special, little moment when I heard a very sweet, little voice say, "Momma.... you look kinda yucky."

Now in her defense- it was early- and we were up close and personal. I'm quite sure I needed to brush my teeth... and my hair.... and my face was a little oily..... and yesterday mascara left my eyes a little dirty... nonetheless I wasn't looking my personal best. I just had to laugh at her little comment- laugh and get up and take a shower! That's what I get for sleeping in.

And I couldn't take it too personally, if you could have only seen Beaux's hair that morning.

Bed head is an understatement....

2009-06-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

Little girl, who will you be?

I'm not sure yet, but I do know the world better get ready.

This one is a long time coming, hence it is a long time going...on and on and on...

2009-06-01T19:29:00.000-07:00

Eden rolled over a few days ago. Eli swam across the entire deep end of the pool this week. Beaux won't wear ponytails because she likes her hair to be, in her words, "long and crazy."

These are all memories I am fighting not to forget- these and many more over the past few years. But some how no matter how hard I punch, the memories keep slipping away. Someone said once the moment is gone, all we are left with are our memories. I have laid awake in bed many nights and wondered, if I am loosing all of my memories, what in the world will I be left with? So much of the past causes me to draw a blank. I can't put myself in the situations. I don't remember the specifics. It's as if there are gaps in my timeline. My memories are just lost.

I have tried to blame my memory loss condition on sleep deprivation. I have had three small children in four years and suffered through a few sleepless nights. But two words will dispel this notion. Michelle Dougar. This woman has birthed 18 children in 20 years and something tells me she too may not be getting eight hours of consecutive sleep. I have seen her in interviews and there appears to be nothing wrong with her memory, perhaps her sanity, but not her memory. So because the sleep loss theory is weak, at best, over dinner a few weeks ago Dan and I committed to find a viable diagnosis for my symptom. Little did we know, only a few days later, our hand would be forced. On that fateful Friday evening after experiencing a severe seizure, being rushed to the hospital, getting to stay for a few days of poking, prodding, testing, and scanning- we might be closer to our answer. I don't know that being diagnosed with a seizure disorder can be considered as good news. I could rattle of a laundry list of negatives that go along with this disease and how to manage it. But maybe, just maybe, we have found the key to remembrance. Maybe I will be able to remember my baby's first word, or laughing with my family over one of Georiga's great stories, or Dan and I dreaming about the future while eating on the porch, or snuggling up and reading books with the kids, or girls night with Sarah, Britt, and lots of chips and salsa, or watching the old Adam West Batman with Eli, or riding with with windows down in Dan's truck. Maybe, just maybe, my memories won't be lost.
This has been quite an ordeal. And I'm not quite sure this chapter is closed. But even though I do struggle with my memory, there are a few things, no matter what disease I may be diagnosed with, I won't forget.

*I can't articulate the way I feel about Daniel Barnes. In Genesis Jacob is talking to his brother and says, " For I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of God." I can catch a glimpse of what he meant.

Thank you, I love you.

*We are not meant to do this life alone. I never want to discount the people in my life as a blessing God has given me. My family and friends have rallied around us with a support and encouragement that continuously overwhelms.

*God is gracious. He was gracious in the way he allowed this to take place. He was gracious to let Dan be sitting five feet away when it began. He was gracious in giving myself, Eli, Beaux, and Eden, protection. He was gracious in allowing us to find a possible diagnosis. He was gracious in giving us an excellent Doctor. He was gracious in providing us insurance to pay our bills. He was gracious to give us family to take care of us in our great time of need. He was gracious to give us strength when we felt our weakest. There isn't enough space on the Internet to record the Lord's graciousness. He was gracious. He is gracious. He will be gracious.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things.....

2009-05-21T19:47:00.000-07:00

(Of course, Eden is also apart of my favorite things, she just isn't quite big enough to wrestle around in the grass. Not yet anyway.)

Even muscles are bigger at Sams

2009-05-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

A visit to the Sams Club is a regular event on our calendar. It is a great chance to stock up on fruit, frozen chicken, and paper towels. We always time our trips to Sams around the lunch hour and no visit would be complete with out a 99 cent hot dog and a free cookie from the bakery. Any place where you can purchase a month's supply of toilet paper, a 24 pack of boys Haines underwear, 4 pounds of raisins, and feed my children for two dollars is a wonderful establishment. A shopping trip to Sam's usually leaves me feeling very productive, but last weeks visit left me feeling productive, and entertained.

As we strolled down the aisles looking for a lifetime supply of Bisquick Pancake mix, I stopped dead in my tracks. As we turned the corner to start a new aisle, a stopped dead in my tracks and broke out into a cold sweat. At the end of the aisle was a very large woman shopping for her groceries on a motorized scooter. Now if you are a mother, you know exactly why this scenario would cause me to perspire like a man. I am with two preschoolers who are exceptionally observant. Not only are they observant, but are prone to voice their observations. My brain immediately began to think of all the things that might come out of their mouths as we passed an obese woman riding on a scooter. I looked to Beaux first, but she was eyeing a 48 count box of Fruit Rollups and was thankfully distracted. I then looked to Eli, but it was too late. His gaze was already fixated on our shopper. As the woman was raising her arm above her head to try and reach something above her, let's just say her tricep muscle wasn't exactly toned, and she revealed a large amount of hanging arm flab. I could see Eli's mind running a million miles an hour. And then I saw him open his mouth. It felt as if I was moving in slow motion as I moved to try and cover his lips, but it was too late.
Eli commented on his view.

"MOM. MOM. DID YOU SEE THAT. DID YOU SEE HER ARM. HER MUSCLES ARE HUGE! I THINK HER MUSCLES ARE EVEN

BIGGER THAN SUPERMANS!"

Eli's love of superheros makes him exceptionally knowledgeable about their physique. They do have very large arm muscles. However those muscles usually flex up, not hang down. This lady could have been an Olympic body builder if her arm flab hardened, and pointed up instead of hanging down. But the direction and firmness of the muscle wasn't important to Eli, only the size. I totally ignored his comment as we sprinted pass the poor woman. And as we started down the next aisle, I admit, I had a huge smile my face. The innocence and logic of his statement was just priceless. The truth is, I really wish we lived by Eli's standard of fitness. If the flab I have could just been seen as muscle- well, I might just be mistaken for Wonder Woman.

You don't know how it feels...to be me

2009-05-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

I think this classic Tom Petty song may be Eden's life motto at the moment.

Well except for the parts of the song referring to being a joker, a smoker, and a midnight toker, obviously those don't apply.

We might not always know what she is feeling, but on this, her eight week old birthday, I do know exactly how we feel about her. She has brought so much joy, contentment, and delight to our days. She is a perfect fit into our family. She is precious.

Dan's sweet grandmother, who is the mother of seven, has said, "When it comes to loving your children, you love them equally, but you love them differently." I am beginning to understand what she means. Eden has added something so new and wonderful to lives. Here are a few of the things you are up to these days-when you aren't singing classic rock tunes in your head.

*You smile all the time. If you are awake, full, and being talked to, you will smile. You have a cute little dimple, but only on the left side of your face. Daddy loves to make you smile.

*I'm going to guess you will be a talker. You love to carry on a conversation with us. Beaux better watch out, because she is our resident Chatty Cathy. From the moment she wakes up until you are closing the door to her bedroom at night she always has,"Just one more thing to tell you." But I believe you might give her a run for her money.

*You love to take a bath. You kick the entire time you are in the tub. Between you splashing water out of the baby tub, and your brother and sister splashing water out of the regular tub, let's just say the carpet is a little squishy at the end of the night.

*On your eight week birthday, you are 12 lbs 3 oz, 90th percentile for weight and 24 and 7/8 inches long. Off the chart for length- you are one long girl. The Lord knew you needed to big and healthy to survive your brother and sister.

*You sleep- well sometimes. I was just bragging to Sarah the other day about how well you were sleeping at night. That very night you decided to teach me a lesson about bragging and woke up every two hours. Most nights we put you to bed around 11:00. You sleep until about 3:30, wake up around 6:30, and then sleep until around 9:00 before you are ready to start your day. I would write that you always go right back to sleep after being fed and never give me any trouble, but I learned that little lesson you taught on bragging, so I'm not going to say it!

*You are very flexible -you just go with the flow. You love to be carried in the front back and usually fall into a deep coma the second I put you in it. When we are out and about, I carry you in the pouch, push Beaux in the cart, and try to keep Eli in my vision. I think I always look like I have my act together (just a hint of sarcasm), but often have strangers comment to me, "You look like you have your hands full." What do you think they mean by that?

*You know you look good in a bow.

You look really good in a bow- the bigger the bow,

the cuter you are.

You've only been here eight weeks, but I don't remember what life was like without you.

And I wouldn't want to.

Really late- Even for me

2009-04-30T13:44:00.000-07:00

I struggle with being late. It isn't something I am proud of. Someone wise once told me, "When you are late, it is like saying your time is more important than anyone elses." And I agree. It isn't that I sit, laughing on the couch, thinking I'm going to leave 10 minutes late so everyone waits on me. I don't drive under the speed limit so that I arrive at appointments hurried, frazzled, and with an apology. It just happens. And now that we have added a new addition to the family, it happens alot more. Even if I get up at 4:30 in the morning to make a 9:00 appointment, I will somehow end up being late. And the pictures I am about to post are a great reflection of my tardiness. I wanted to post a few Easter pictures. We celebrated with wonderful friends and family. And for what it is worth, I did make it to the Easter service, with three children, clean, dressed, and on time.

Britani threw a great- Eggstravaganza Party! We made bunny ears, colored eggs, had an egg hunt, and ate the cutest cupcakes. The cupcakes were covered in dyed, green, coconut that looked like grass. She added a few a few jelly beans to the grass for eggs and viola- a cupcake straight from the pages of Martha Stewart! Thank you Caiden for modeling the goodness.

This is as crazy and as fun as it looks!

What says Easter like baby chicks? Wayne surprised everyone, including Lin, with a box of baby chickens during our lunch. We had the chance to spend the Friday before Easter in Whitesboro and enjoyed playing with a few new fuzzy friends. Eli was a little hesitant to hold the little guys, but Beaux picked them up like they were here best friends. She had absolutely no fear, and I think the chicks enjoyed the ride she gave them in the toy shopping cart.

Easter eggs are really fun to find. Especially when they are filled with mini chocolate eggs. Thank you Granny! And I mean thank you from all of us. I might have eaten a few of

those eggs myself.

Sunday dinner with Auntie G, Jason, Lyla, and Gracie Rae are an essential for a happy Easter. Bunny ears are optional.

He is Risen, He is Risen Indeed!

Over the River and Through the Woods....

2009-04-26T14:17:00.000-07:00

I am so blessed to have wonderful memories with my grandparents. Every time we loaded up the car and drove through the mountains for a visit, I always felt a little carsick and tremendous excitement. The combination of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins meant fun. And even today, a huge source of entertainment for my family, are the stories we relieve from those times spent together. Christmas, Easter, and Birthday's were better because we were always with people who loved us so much. This week Georgia and I packed up and went to visit my parents so that we could take our newest additions to meet their great-grandparents. It was a long haul. Two adults, five children, 32 episodes of Elmo, and one speeding ticket later, we had completed the trip- and it was completely worth it. Driving through the mountains, this time with five carseats along with us, I still felt a little carsick, but tremendously happy for the opportunity to hug their necks and make a few more memories. And after spending the day with them, I'm left feeling a little nostalgic. Here are a few of the favorite memories and qualities about each of them I want never to forget.

Pa Goodman is larger than life. He laughs big, he hugs big, he cooks big, he talks big, and he loves big. When he is singing in church, his voice can be heard over the choir and congregation combined. I love that he took us to the Rodeo every year on the fourth of July. He tried to give my girly-girl sisters and I a taste of farm life. Whether riding horses or gathering chicken eggs, he always got a laugh as he watched us hold our noses on the way to the barn. He knows how make a great big mess and a great big meal-the man can cook. All of my Christmas memories involve him putting food on plate because I need to, "Try a bite of this." He keeps you on your toes, because you never know when he might offer you some very straight forward advice. And he has some great stories- some whopper stories. He loves Jesus, his church, his wife, and his family and he always makes sure you know it.

Granny Goodman makes me smile. She is mannerly, polite, and believes their is a proper way to do things- but she is also down to earth, never prissy, and married to my grandfather, who she often elbows when he opens his mouth. She is a woman after my own heart when it comes to clothing and I truly believe my love of fashion began with her. She always made sure her grand daughters had the most beautiful dresses and I vividly remember twirling around her living room in full skirts. At Christmas she has an entire room of the house devoted to candies and sweets. I could never count how many chocolate covered raisins I've consumed each December. She has the gift of hospitality. She will make your favorite meal every time you come to see and would die before she sent you home without leftovers to enjoy the next day. I have dreams about her fried chicken. Her house is immaculate. I mean clean. She reminds me it is a great virtue to take pride in your home and make it comfortable and pleasant for all who enter. She is incredibly humble, kind, and someone who always had gum and mints in her purse to share.

Pa Robertson is a servant leader, quiet- reserved. It isn't his words that will motivate you to act, but his example that you feel inspired to follow. I loved to watch him teach his Sunday School class when we would visit Temple Baptist Church with them on Sunday mornings. I have so many memories of his bible being out. He knew the power that comes in knowing God's word. If I close my eyes, I can vividly see him sitting in front of the Christmas tree, reading from Matthew the birth story of Jesus before we opened a single present. He could build a mean tree house and didn't mind letting you ride around with your cousins on his riding lawn mower. He treated us to Silver Dollar City and the Passion Play in the summer. He is incredibly generous, meticulous, and smart. He has a dignity about him that is rare and wonderful.

Mima makes me laugh. And when I hear her laugh, it only makes me laugh more. She has a spunk about her that keeps her youthful and fun. The first thing you did when you walked into her kitchen was head straight for the drawer with the jar of homemade cookies. I have unscrewed that blue jar lid more times than I care to ever know. I love how she would always indulge my sister and I by reading one more book, before we went to sleep. She was a wonderful "Fashion Show"audience as we paraded about her in our costumes. She knew how to shop till you drop, and was brave enough to spend Saturday afternoons with us at the mall. Conversation was an art for her- I have been apart of many great discussions around her table. And my gift of words must of been inherited straight from her genes. She has a natural warmth and sincerity that people are drawn too- and she makes the best taco salad around.

I know it is a blessing to have my grandparents be such an influential part of my life. I know it is a blessing that my children will experience the same blessing.

Beaux already loves Dr. Pepper as much as her Nana.

No Scissors Necessary

2009-04-17T15:19:00.000-07:00

Eli has a wonderful first year scrapbook. I can't even count how many hours I spent creatively trying to capture bathtimes, holidays, blowing bubbles, and time with grandparents. Eli has a wonderful first year scrapbook... Beaux has nothing. I always intended on starting her book, but with two children 20 months apart, somehow decorative page layouts, stickers, and cute captions took a back seat to showers, sleep, and finishing a load of laundry. Eli has a wonderful first year scrapbook.... Beaux has nothing.... and so will Eden. This time around I'm not even going to try and fool myself- it isn't going to happen. A simple trip to Target today with everyone in tow completely wiped me out. I won't be doing any scrapbooking anytime soon. I love to pull Eli's book out relive all of those wonderful moments again. And being that today was Eden's first official smile, I know I need a place I can relive the wonderful moments of each of my children. And if you can't create a scrapbook, a blog page can be an adequate avenue- right? It wont' have the colorful pages, decorative borders, or fun stickers, but it will have what matters most, great moments with Eli, Beaux, and Eden. And the truth is, these three are cute enough they really don't even need the stickers.

I don't know why I even bother dressing him each day (and some days I don't) -considering he spends 96% of his time in costume. Eli loves to dress up, and I spend a large amount of my time zipping, tying, and turning his wardrobe inside out. But he is really cute and he doesn't require as much laundry!

Where would Batman be without his Robin?

Eden first bath. She absolutely loved it and only cried when we took her out!

A girl after my own heart.

Ede and Lyla wondering what they did to get into this crazy family.

Cousins. I love this picture of Beaux and Gracie Rae modeling their princess gowns. Beaux loves anything that has to do with a Disney Princess and she too is rarely dressed but is most happy in a Sleeping Beauty costume. It made her day to see Gracie Rae sharing her love. And although technically they are cousins, don't try to tell Beaux they are anything but sisters. She introduces Lyla as her sister and often asks, "How is my sister Lolly, doing today?"

She is growing up. This is Beaux's first night in a big girl bed. I think we would have kept her contained in the crib until she was seven, but be awakened in the middle of the night to, "I need to go potty right now," just isn't the way to be roused out of a deep sleep, so we decided it was time to remove the bars. You never know where you might find her in the morning, she is loving her freedom, but that "I'm so proud of myself face," makes it all worth it.

And speaking of sweet dreams, isn't she beautiful?

It's my pleasure to introduce....

2009-03-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

Eden Susannah Barnes has arrived. She entered this world on Tuesday, March the 10th at 12:54 pm and has stolen my heart forever. I waited 290 days to meet her, and she is absolutely perfect. Eden means paradise, or delight, and these are the exact words I would use to describe you. I want to treasure every moment with you and ponder them in my heart. But because sleep deprivation causes memory loss, here are a few things I don't want to forget about the past 10 days.

*The Monday before you were born, I got a terrible stomach bug. When I woke up that morning, I thought I was having contractions, but I quickly found out those stomach cramps were not contractions, but just a precursor of the unpleasantness that was to come. My Doctor had already decided you would enter this world on Tuesday, March 10th (seeing that was 10 days over your due date) and as I laid down to try and sleep Monday night, I prayed the Lord would heal me so I would have the strength to birth you the next day. He graciously answered my prayer and as we arrived at the hospital at 6:30 the next morning, I was so ready to see your precious face.

* As we drove in the dark to the hospital that morning, your father played me your birth song. Everyone in our family gets a birth song. Your brother's was played in the delivery room before I was in serious pain, so "Push It," was a very funny treat your daddy picked for me. Beaux's birth song was heard in the truck on the way to the hospital, but I was already in extreme pain, and so "Move Along," wasn't quite as amusing. Your birth song, "Three Is a Magic Number," brought a huge smile to my face as we listened to the happy song.

* Before we walked into the hospital, Daddy prayed for us in the car. He prayed for our safety and our health, and then he prayed for an easy delivery for me- but before he could say Amen, he reminded me and the Lord, that a pain free delivery really couldn't happen because it is woman's curse thanks to Eve. He never ceases to make me giggle.

*With each painful contraction, I tried to breath and remind myself, the moment I saw your face, it would be completely worth it.

*It was all completely worth it. The moment Dr. White pulled you out, your daddy and I exclaimed, "She's so little." Now I know that sounds insane considering you weighed in at 8 oz. 11 ounces, but you didn't have the insanely chubby face like your brother and sister. Your features were a little more petite and delicate, and you were absolutely beautiful.

* You have your sister's eyes and your brother's chin. Daddy and I both agree you are an even mix of your siblings. Now I wonder who's temperament you will take after?

*Your brother and sister were very excited to meet you. They came up to the hospital the afternoon you were born. Beaux's first words to you were, "She's so cute," and Eli sang you a lullaby - precious, precious memories.

* You often smile in your sleep. I hope it is because you are so happy to be apart of this crazy family.

* Your cousin Lyla Faith was born six days after you. Our first official trip out of the house was back to the hospital to visit the Davis' new addition. It was so fun to see you both together. Your poppa was convinced we needed to be exceptionally careful not to mix the two of you up. It would be very difficult to find out in a few years we had accidentally switched you at birth! You look to much like a Barnes, there is no way we could mistake you.

*Our house is very busy, very messy, very loud, and very fun these days. Your Nana and Granny have done such a great job taking care of all us. It was definitely an "all hands on deck" job.

*I am constantly overwhelmed with how blessed I am. As I walked into the house Wednesday evening from the hospital, Daddy held you in his arms while your brother and sister enthusiastically ran to greet us at the door, and my heart was overcome with God's goodness. It was an indescribable sense of completion. A grateful heart prepares the way for the Lord, and I have definitely experienced His presence the past 10 days as I try and express my love and gratitude for his blessings. As I finish this post, you are sweetly snoozing next to me on the couch. As you breath, you make a soft little cooing sound and you just gave me one of those precious half-way smiles. You have only been apart of our world for 10 days, but we can't imagine our lives without you.

A mother's heart sustains her stomach...

2009-03-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

My stomach has been through quite a bit over the past week. (Word of caution- what you are about to read isn't for the easily nauseated.)

It started Tuesday morning when I awoke to Eli standing beside my bed a little before seven, warning he didn't feel well. He had the look. The look that says this isn't a joke, do not hesitate, head immediately to the bathroom. However, I ignored the look and pulled him into bed with me- hoping with every fiber in my being I had misread his eyes, only to suffer the consequences. Ten minutes later I was cleaning vomit from myself, Eli, sheets, pillows, blankets, bedspreads, and the carpet.

Fast forward to Wednesday evening. After a vomit free 36 hour period, I thought we were safe. I thought wrong. I had spent the day at a Doctor's appointment and finishing a few last minute pre-baby errands. Lin spent the day playing with the kids, but as I entered the door, she warned me Eli made complaints about not feeling so great. I sat down on the couch to cuddle him and to hear the symptoms- when again I experienced the look. Now I had learned a hard lesson the previous morning, and had no intention of learning it again. I stood and began to run us to the bathroom- but to no avail. Despite my best effort, we were too late and I learned a new very valuable lesson. Running and throwing up are not a good combination. I spent the next 45 minutes cleaning vomit from the floor, the refrigerator, the carpet, the walls, the baseboards, the toilet, the sink, and the bathroom mirror.

This might be a great place to interject thanks. My precious mother-in-law worked right along side me mopping up Eli's stomach content. She got right down there on her hands and knees and scrubbed up the indescribable. - Amazing.

Another 48 hours brings us to Friday evening. Around 3:00 Eli requested to take a nap.
I should have known a storm was a brewin'. He asked to take a nap.
After a peaceful hour to myself, I hear screaming from his bedroom. As I ran to the stairs I didn't even have to make a guess for the reason, I could smell it. I spent the next hour cleaning vomit from his bed, sheets, pillow, stuffed animals, Super Friends action figures, carpet, and rug.

As of Sunday at 1:14, we have had no more instances- thank you Lord. However, my appetite still hasn't recovered. But I can't blame that completely on Eli. Beaux has done her fair share on my stomach this week too. Out of the past seven days, I have cleaned feces from her panties five of those days, and sometimes twice a day. Cleaning feces from underwear is exceptionally disgusting. We just can't seem to get this "pooping in the potty" thing under our grasp. I have dealt with more human excrement over the past few days than any one woman ever should.

But before I go I think I should mention that even my sweet, precious, unborn baby is wreaking havoc on my stomach. Being exactly 41 weeks pregnant today, my stomach is stretched in a way you might only be able to find documented in the Guinness World Book of Records.

I never knew a mother's love could sustain her stomach, but I am so glad it does. If it didn't I might of had a little more cleaning to do this week; I would have been cleaning up after myself.

I know myself too well...

2009-02-26T13:09:00.000-08:00

I had quite a few hesitations about starting a blog. But one of my greatest fears was I wouldn't keep it up. The time commitment, the discipline, the sitting down and putting the pen to the paper -so to speak- is a big job. And with only three posts under my belt, I have already let an entire month go by without a single sentence to show for it. Don't get me wrong, this month has given me plenty to record; however, my blogging fear has become reality. So I debated today if I should just give up the romantic notion that I can keep a blog, or get a little discipline and give this the old college try. Discipline is something I think the Lord is speaking to me about at the moment. I am lacking discipline in quite a few areas of my life. I need more discipline in managing my time, I need more discipline to encourage and serve others, I need more discipline to get into my kitchen and cook- I feel the need to confess I have eaten at Chick-Fil-A the past two days for lunch! So I'm going to keep this little on-line journal up. I'm going to try and cover the month of February and write about a few of the memories I just don't want to forget. I am also going to keep my fingers crossed that my next entry happens before another thirty days has passed and that I eat a healthy turkey sandwich for lunch!

*Pregnancy and panic alarms don't mix. It was a quiet Thursday morning. My children had been playing nicely upstairs for almost thirty minutes as I chatted on the phone with Brittani. This should have been my first clue something was wrong- thirty minutes is a long period of good behavior. All of the sudden I hear what I believe is the fire alarm ringing upstairs. I gave Brittani a panicked, "I have to go," and ran upstairs expecting to find smoke. Instead all I found was two terrified children screaming and covering their ears. I scooted them downstairs and drug the ladder in from the garage to climb up to the detector and see if I could turn the crazy thing off. After three minutes of sweating and deafness, I found out it wasn't the fire alarm, it was our house alarm. I am totally baffled why the alarm is tripped considering it wasn't even set, until I walk by my bed and see the hand fab that controls the alarm. I keep it in my nightstand just in case I were to need it one night while Dan is deer hunting and I hear an intruder; I do not keep it in the drawer to tempt my children to push the button of a policeman. I grabbed the fab, pushed the deactivate button and to everyones relief, the alarm ceased. I immediately received a call from our home security company in which I explained everyone was alive and well, at least for the moment- I couldn't promise my children's well being after I found out who was responsible for this little incident. And just as I was taking a deep breath and about to sigh relief, I heard someone BANGING on my front door. Now my first inclination should have been to run and answer it, but I was still in my pajamas and a little indecent. Being nine months pregnant at the time, the clothing a wore to bed the night before didn't exactly fit. The t-shirt I slept in covered about half of my stomach leaving a very exposed belly hanging out and my pajamas pants hung very low to escape the task of going around my waist. I couldn't open the door like this, but as I started to run upstairs to grab a sweater, it was to late. I was spotted through the front window and the man pounding on my door meant business. "Mam, this is the police. I want you to open this door immediately," was all I needed to hear. I forgot all about my state of exposure and opened that door before he broke it down. It seems when the panic alarm is tripped, even if you speak to the security company, the police still are notified and you get a little visit from the department. I have a feeling that officer got to see a little more than he anticipated but was exceptionally gracious as I explained what had happened over the past few minutes. And as I closed the door I headed straight for my closet, dressed myself in clothes that covered my body, and hid that fab so that no child of mine can contact emergency services again.

*Beaux could care less about my desire for her to be potty trained. It is without a doubt a power play- the first of many I am sure. She can do it, and often chooses to- unless she chooses not to. Which reminds me, I need to write the Fellowship Church Preschool a thank you note. They have cleaned more than their fair share of "accidents" over the past few weeks.

*Throwing up repeatedly withing 24 hours of a head injury is a sign of a concussion. Sitting in the emergency room for six hours waiting for a doctor to tell you it is a minor concussion and to go home and take a little Tylenol is reason for mental insanity. Eli bumped his head one evening while playing outside. It was a nice little bump but I didn't think much of it until the next morning when he was incredibly hard to wake up. And as we drove to the church for bible study, and he began to throw up in the back seat, my motherly instinct began to knot in the bottom of my stomach. I called the pediatrician to see if I could bring him in but as I began to explain what happened, the nurse interrupted to inform me my only option was the emergency room. I begged her not to send me to the ER unless absolutely necessary. I gave her the sob story about my nine month self and my two small children. She had little compassion. Her exact quote, "I can't tell you he doesn't have a stomach bug, but I can't tell you he isn't bleeding into his brain- go to the hospital." Thankfully after a six hour wait and a CAT scan we discovered Eli wasn't bleeding into his brain, it was just a minor concussion- we all went home with a pounding headache.

*Speaking of throwing up- I don't necessarily want to remember the terrible stomach bug I woke up with one Sunday morning. However, it was priceless when Eli walked into the bathroom and caught me with my head in the toilet. With very wide eyes he asked, "Mommy are you frowing up?" And as I grunted yes and told him to go watch cartoons, he walked over and began to rub my back and tell me I was going to be alright.

*Chili's is the perfect place for a baby shower. Sarah and Britt threw me a surprise baby shower at Chili's one evening. Precious pink clothes, chips and salsa, and friends- I can think of no better way to celebrate a baby. We spent hours laughing about labor stories and giving name suggestions. I love these girls.

*The Creative Church Conference was amazing this year. It was such a wonderful experience to hear from amazing leaders who are passionately trying to reach their communities and allow God to ignite that passion within us. It was such a wonderful experience to meet two new friends and find a great example of servant leadership to emulate. It was a wonderful experience to serve alongside Dan. Every time I catch a glimpse of him in action, I can't help but swell with pride.

*Nothing says love like a heart shaped brownie. My kiddos didn't want for much this Valentine's day. A new DVD of the Super Friends for Eli and Strawberry Shortcake for Beaux, topped off with sugar. I think the look on their faces as the lick the batter says it all.

Country Road, Take me Home

2009-01-30T13:43:00.000-08:00

My sister and I had planned to visit my mom this week ~ we had planned to leave Monday morning. That is until I got a phone call at four o'clock Sunday afternoon from my mother informing us that terrible winter weather was coming there way and we wouldn't be able to come in the morning. Disappointment was really setting in, until I had a very crazy idea. Two hours later Georgia and I had our children, our suitcases, and the dog packed and ready to roll. We didn't pull into my mom's driveway until 10:30 that night, and I discovered the next morning I had only packed Beaux one shirt to wear for the entire week- but it was totally worth it. We beat the winter weather by about 12 hours and were iced in with Nana, Papa, Georgia, Gracie Rae, Jessica, and John for two days of serious fun.

This was Eli at about 11:15 Sunday night- too tired to pull the covers back on his bed.

We spent the majority of the time in our pj's, playing, starring out the window in awe at the beauty of everything white and frozen, and watching Eli and Beaux swim in the next best thing to a pool, Nana's enormous whirlpool bathtub. Even in my 35 week pregnant body,I enjoyed hours of standing in front of a crackling fire place. However, my sister, in her 32 week pregnant body, walked around the house in shorts and a T-shirt and complained about the fire, it was hilarious. Wednsday was my Dad's 54th birthday and because of the wintry roads, we decided to celebrate at home with Taco Salad, homemade Blueberry Pie and Chocolate Cake. Jessica and I had a bake off. She made the pie and I made the cake, but when blueberry pie and chocolate cake are the competitors, can there really be a looser?

Betty Crocker and Dad's favorite dessert- Blueberry Pie.

Thursday evening we took Dad out for his birthday dinner to a little whole-in-the wall steak diner. The meal was fabulous, and the entertainment unforgettable. The restaurant was almost empty, with a little dance floor, and an elderly gentleman channeling Frank Sinatra and preforming his lounge act for our party. The children loved hearing him sing, and Eli told me he had such a great time, "Dancing the night away." We traveled hundreds of miles this week, ate tons of M&M's in the car to help pass the trip, spent many hours snuggled on the couch watching Disney classics and reading books, celebrated 54 years of my incredible father's life, and enjoyed millions of great moments together.

"Everything just looks gorgeous."- Eli Barnes

Never a Dull Moment

2009-01-24T11:52:00.000-08:00

It's almost two o'clock and I am beginning our Saturday ritual. We attend church on Saturday evening, which requires I start preparing four hours before the service begins to ensure we make it on time. There are showers to be had, diaper bags to be packed, clothes to be ironed, and snacks to be prepared. You can see why I love having Saturday night church as an option, if I had to make a Sunday morning service, I would need to set my alarm for about 3:45am. But I must admit I am feeling a little nervous about making it to church this Saturday, and I know my anxiety stems from the incident that took place in the parking lot last Saturday.

It started like any average evening. Dan went inside a few minutes before us to fulfill his pastoral duties while I put on some lip gloss and made sure sippy cups were in the bags. I turned to look at Eli and Beaux, and upon deciding everyone was groomed and ready, decided it was time to head to the preschool. Even as I type the words, the next few moments unfold in my mind in slow motion. I opened the door, pushed the unlock button, walked around to Beaux's side to release them from their carseats, and my blood ran cold as I pulled the handle door.
Yes, I locked them inside the car. I immediately started to perspire and stamp my feet. How could I have pushed the lock instead of unlock? How could I have left my purse in the car? How could I get myself out of this situation? No reason to panic, I can handle this. And under no circumstances am I going to call Dan. I can handle this. Dan is the sort of man who never loses his keys, always makes every appointment on time, and can't fathom the concept of running out of gas. And even after eight years of marriage, I think he is still in awe how I get myself into these type of situations, regularly. As I paced back in forth in front of the car formulating a plan, a very nice officer who patrolled the parking lot for security drove by. He quickly assessed that I might need some help, and pulled over. After I explained what had happened, he without hesitation informed me he would call the Fire Department. The horrified expression on my face prompted him explain, it was the law when children are locked inside the vehicle. And at this point I was no longer perspiring, now I began to sweat.

I had one glimmer of hope. Maybe I could somehow instruct Eli out of his buckle before the Fire Department arrived, then the officer could radio the nice firefigther to turn around, and the problem would be solved. But to no avail.

The next six minutes went something like this.
"Eli, push the red button with your thumb. And then pull up on the buckles."
A half hearted attempt. "Mommy, I can't do it."
"Eli, please try again. You have to push the red button hard and the pull up on the buckles."
Another wimpy attempt. "Mommy, I can't do it."

When he began to cry out of annoyance and frustration, I was afraid I might be verbally abusing him, and with a police officer to my right, I knew I had to get it together. Plus, I could hear the sirens blaring as they tried to navigate through all of the cars that were pulling into the parking lot. There is quite a crowd that attends this service, and the parking lot is coned off to help parking that many cars go smoothly. That is unless a fire truck is trying to get in. Everything was a mess, all thanks to my mistake. People are stopped in their tracks, pointing and staring, waiting to see where this truck was going. And as if that wasn't enough. I look up and see Dan walking toward me. I remained cool as a cucumber.

"What are you doing out here, I have everything under control," I said.
"Bridget, security came and found me. They can see you on the cameras out here, and thought I might want to know you're out here with a fire truck and ambulance," Dan responded.

The very nice fireighters popped the lock in about one minute and nineteen seconds and then went on their way without even so much as a word of reprimand or shame. Dan gave me a hug, asked if he could hold onto the keys, and then graciously went inside without another word. I grabbed my purse, reapplied lip gloss, held my head down in hopes of not being recognized, and dropped the kids off. Just another average Saturday evening right?

Oh, and just to ice this cake, did I mention this isn't the first time the Fire Department has rescued my children from a vehicle I locked them inside of? Oh no, this was my second offensive.